Just One Bottle Would Have Kept My Baby Off Life Support: The Failure Of Baby-Friendly (BFHI) Care In Canada

My husband and I were the happiest people on earth to have just welcomed our healthy baby boy Ian into the world [born in an Ottawa Baby-Friendly hospital].   We were anxious first time parents. We had taken all the prenatal classes. I read the book “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and we felt well-informed to approach this new chapter in our lives.  We made the decision that I would be breastfeeding as that was the “right” thing to do for our baby.  My baby latched on automatically and the nurses were impressed with how he was eating because he fed about every hour and would feed for at least 45 minutes.  I was nervous that I was not doing something right, and I continuously asked each and every nurse that came in to check on us if I was doing it right. I even asked them to just watch us while he fed and see if it was going okay. They all consistently replied, “You are doing great.”

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Ian at 12 hours old.

The next morning came and I participated in a breastfeeding class held in the hospital by a lactation consultant (LC).  The class had about 20 new moms with their babies there and the LC asked us to have our babies latch on  and feed while she teaches and does her presentation.  Again, Ian automatically latched to me and the LC was impressed and commented that I was like a pro already and that he latched perfectly and was doing well.  I brought forward my concern to her as well, saying that he latches on about every hour or so for 45 min or more and she said, “That is great, he is a good eater!”  About 30 min into the 1 hour class,  all the other moms were sitting with their babies resting in their laps as they had all finished their feeding, but Ian was still latched onto me until the end of the class. The LC never brought anything up about the fact that if a baby is feeding for more than 30 minutes that means that they are probably not satisfied.   Furthermore, I asked the LC if I could start pumping and she told me “no,” that I had to wait 6 weeks before pumping and giving him a bottle because otherwise he wouldn’t want to breastfeed anymore and it would disrupt our breastfeeding.  So I kept my pump away as I was told, but this meant I had no idea how much milk I was producing (which later I found out was almost nothing). Continue reading

To Baby-Friendly Hospital Caregivers, “It is Better to Be Safe Than Sorry,” Mom Urges After 3-Day-Old’s Dehydration

About two days after initial discharge from her Indiana birth hospital, my three-day-old baby was admitted to the Children’s Hospital with dehydration and high sodium levels (hypernatremia).  My purpose in sharing the following exceptionally personal detail is that these words might prevent similar suffering for others.

Several separate oversights in care culminated in my  baby’s health crisis.  If only she had been supplemented earlier, she might not have faced hypernatremia and dehydration. 

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Why Was No One Listening To Me Or My Baby At Our Baby-Friendly Hospital? The Signs Were There.

I was so excited to breastfeed my second child last April. I had my first eight years ago, and thought that perhaps back then I just had not tried hard enough. I also thought maybe the first time I did something wrong, and thought that this time would work out perfect. My first baby was sent to the NICU for jaundice on day three, and then was given an IV for dehydration, which was followed by formula. I did my research and was told that you should not supplement because if you did supplement you could lose your supply of breast milk.

#1- Why Fed is Best for Newborn Jaundice.pptx (3)

I started to fret at the hospital when my new baby was struggling to latch. I became frustrated when I could not hand express anything other than the smallest beads of milk. However, I was told that number of diapers was fine and his weight loss was within the acceptable range. I was told to go home and keep bringing him to breast, and to not supplement. So that is what I did. My baby cried endlessly and his throat always sounded dry. His latch was very weak. The milk still had not come in and I never felt engorged. I thought something was wrong and my husband wanted to give him some formula, but I begged him to wait for my milk to come in just liked I was taught.

Fed Is Best HUNGRY

On day five of my baby’s life we took him to his first appointment. He weighed in with a 17% total weight loss, and ran a slight fever when they took his temperature. His doctor told us that we needed to rush him to the hospital because she feared he may have a bacterial infection and that he could only have hours to live. The doctor also told us to immediately start supplementing. We gave him formula in the office and rushed him to the children’s hospital. While we were in the emergency room his temperature dropped to a normal temperature. I felt relieved. We stayed there for a while and they came to check on him a little later. They found that his temperature had dropped below a regular reading and that he was developing symptoms of hypothermia. They told us this was serious and he needed to go through testing to run cultures. I had never been so scared in my life. Continue reading

If I Had Not Found The Fed Is Best Foundation, I May Not Be Holding My Sweet Baby Boy Today

AshleyCoverPageI power pumped.  I took fenugreek. I baked lactation cookies. I cried, and cried some more. I baby wore. Skin to skin. Nursed on demand non-stop. I never slept. Never bathed, and cried some more. I was told over and over I was producing enough milk, that my body knows how much to produce to meet my baby needs.

I posted these pictures to a well known exclusive breastfeeding Facebook group. I was praised for how great I was doing and to keep it up.  I was told my body made enough for my baby and this amount (1.5 ml) was enough. That he was “cluster-feeding”.

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The Breastfeeding Conspiracy

I wrote this piece over thirteen years ago, at the time thinking of publishing it as a New York Times Op Ed but eventually losing the courage to do so. The subject was just too raw and painful. Next month my son will be fourteen. He is wonderful and healthy but has severe ADHD and learning disabilities that have shaped his and our life everyday since he was born and will continue to shape them always. I will never know the effects of what I now call the breastfeeding conspiracy on my son. I know that he had, and still has, low muscle tone, which may have caused his inability to suck properly in his first days of life. Or it may be that this and other setbacks were the result of the dehydration he suffered when I insisted on “not giving him a bottle” in those first (near-}fatal days of his life. Continue reading