This is What Lactivism Does to Parents and I Was Lucky to Hear the Words “Fed Is Best”

I am sharing my story because I know new parents are struggling with lactivism right now; they need to hear my story to protect themselves. It was lactivism that compromised my mental health, and it was lactivism that caused my child to suffer.

I thought lactivist rhetoric existed only on social media, but I was wrong. It’s also part of our medical institutions and is harming moms and babies. 

When I was pregnant, I wasn’t sure how I wanted to feed my baby, so I planned to try breastfeeding and switch to formula if it didn’t work. After her birth, my daughter had a difficult time breastfeeding. My nurse told me that babies are born to breastfeed, so I should keep trying until she does. I stayed up all night with her trying to breastfeed, but she just wouldn’t for more than a few minutes and would fall back asleep.   

I was concerned my baby was not getting enough colostrum. Every medical professional assured me that her wet and dirty diaper count was normal and meant she was getting enough. I trusted they knew more than I did as a first-time parent, but my baby was now crying and still was not breastfeeding well. When I attended breastfeeding classes at my hospital, the instructor told us crying is the last sign of hunger. 

When the lactation consultant came, she saw my baby screaming, not nursing. I practically begged her for baby formula, but she firmly said everything was normal and insisted babies don’t need much milk in the first days of life. She told me formula would mess up my milk supply, cause obesity and nipple confusion, and provide “instant gratification.”  

The lactation consultant provided misinformation and was overtly wrong.

After she left, I broke down and cried uncontrollably; I knew she wasn’t getting enough milk out of my breasts, but no one cared. Every health professional watched my baby scream in hunger, but supplementing her was not supported or offered.  I was told repeatedly that her crying was normal and that my milk would soon come in if I continued breastfeeding her. 

That’s when I realized how damaging lactivism was. They didn’t care about my baby being hungry. They only cared about breastfeeding. There’s no denying that this was *ucked up!

According to the Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine: An infant who is fussy at night or constantly feeding for several hours does not meet supplementing guidelines, and expressed drops of colostrum are enough.

Nurses are given text scrips to respond to parents asking for formula supplementation.

Really?

Maybe this is why 1 in 71 exclusively breastfed babies are rehospitalized for complications of insufficient colostrum intake. Babies are forced to endure hunger and thirst until they meet thresholds to warrant “medical necessity.”

Due to our desperate situation, my husband suggested that I use the pump I had brought, so I began pumping milk. I fed her all the milk I pumped, and she gulped it down. She stopped crying and slept for hours.

 She was STARVING, BUT NOBODY CARED. 

I continued to pump, hoping she would nurse, but she didn’t. I dreaded telling her doctor I was pumping and bottle feeding my baby. The guilt consumed me during my most vulnerable time as a new mother.

Why would I feel guilty for providing my child pumped milk?

It was clear to me, looking back, that I had been brainwashed into thinking I needed to breastfeed my child to be a good mother. The effects of lactivism are devastating emotionally; they are insidious, unrelenting, and harmful. I shudder to think about what would have happened to my baby if I hadn’t pumped in the hospital.

I was lucky to find parenting communities where I learned that any valid feeding method (including pumping) is healthy for my baby. I was fortunate to hear the words “fed is best.” And I was lucky that someone told me to value my mental health over breastmilk. 

-Marta O’Neil

Was your baby denied supplementation in the hospital? Please get in touch with us to share your story. Every story saves another child from experiencing the same and teaches another mom how to feed her baby safely. Every voice contributes to change.

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How To Prepare For Supplementing When Breastfeeding Your Baby In The Hospital – Fed Is Best

Dr. Nicole King Warns About Dangers of Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative at USDA Dietary Guidelines Meeting

Read the Stories of Thousands of Families, Nurses and Physicians Who Signed the Fed is Best Petition

U.S. Study Shows Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative Does Not Work

Information for Hospitals: Ensuring Safety for Breastfed Newborns

Letter to Doctors and Parents About the Dangers of Insufficient Exclusive Breastfeeding

I Contacted Every Patient Safety Organization After My IBCLC Withheld Clinical Information From Me Causing My Newborn To Starve.

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The Ten Steps to Ethical, Successful, And Inclusive Infant Feeding

In most hospitals and prenatal educational materials, exclusive breastfeeding (EBF) is the recommendation for infant feeding. EBF is promoted as the only healthy way to feed a baby, with partial breastfeeding, temporary supplementation, and formula feeding falsely characterized as “suboptimal.” Other infant feeding options, such as exclusive pumping or formula supplementation, are discouraged, even when requested by parents. But does this narrow definition of healthy infant feeding support patient rights and ethical infant feeding principles? No, it does not

 Infant feeding support in postpartum units should consider ethical principles of autonomy, beneficence, justice, and non-maleficence when considering the extent to which lactation should be promoted. 

What Are The Principles of Ethical Infant Feeding?

Autonomy: The parents choose how they intend to feed their baby at each feeding, and maternal bodily autonomy is affirmed and respected.

Beneficence: The benefits of infant feeding types are provided to the parent to help them make an informed decision. Healthcare providers must not decide what is best for the parent.

Justice: Do not assume a feeding method. Ask the parent how they want to feed their baby. Affirmative consent must be obtained before touching a patient’s body. 

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Is Formula More Dangerous than Irreversible Brain Damage?

Is that some kind of sick joke? Infant formula is safe nutrition—scientifically created to replace human milk and thus consists of fluids and nutrients necessary to nourish a baby. Brain damage is irreversible.  That should be glaringly obvious, but it looks like the AAP Breastfeeding Section responsible for the recently released “Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk” (June 2022) has lost sight of this critical fact.

Let’s focus on this appalling statement:

“The need for phototherapy in an otherwise healthy infant without signs of dehydration and/or insufficient intake is not an indication for supplementation with formula unless the levels are approaching exchange transfusion levels.”

Hyperbilirubinemia (excessive jaundice) and Phototherapy

To explain why we are horrified, let’s look carefully at what the statement means. Jaundice is a common and usually benign condition experienced by about 60% of healthy newborns. It is caused by a substance called bilirubin, a breakdown product of fetal red blood cells after birth to transition to mature red blood cells. However, if a baby’s bilirubin levels are greater than a certain level and continue to climb, the risk for brain damage increases.

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Mother Speaks Out About Her Baby’s Death After Exclusive Breastfeeding: What She Wants Human Rights Organizations to Know

Josephine contacted us after reading Dr. Christie del Castilo-Hegyi’s letter to health care professionals about the dangers of insufficient breastfeeding and the Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative. Josephine is from Lagos, Nigeria, and wants to tell her story, because she believes every mother should know how to supplement her baby safely until her milk is flowing, no matter what country she lives in, to prevent brain damage and death from insufficient breastfeeding. 

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