Dying for Milk: The Pam and Chaz Floyd’s Story

By Pam Floyd, Mother and Fed is Best Advocate

Twenty-five years ago, Chaz, the son of Pam Floyd, was born and developed hypernatremic dehydration from insufficient breast milk intake while exclusively breastfeeding. Chaz developed brain injury from dehydration and now lives disabled with cerebral palsy. Their story was published on the front page of the Wall Street Journal. She was subsequently interviewed on 20/20, which prompted a similar feature on ABC’s Prime Time Live. Pam contacted the Fed is Best Foundation to share her story again to warn mothers of the dangers of insufficient feeding.

Chaz develop hypernatremic dehydration from insufficient feeding while exclusively breastfeeding

“25 Year Anniversaries Should Be Celebrated Not Served As A Warning”

Twenty-five years ago my son almost died.  He was only six days old. I had chosen to breastfeed, as everyone around me kept reminding me that ‘breast is best.’  So I followed their advice, and I exclusively breastfed. Even though I felt like something wasn’t quite right those first few days, everyone assured me everything was fine.  The nurses in the maternity ward suggested that since I was a new mother, I wasn’t able to appreciate how much he was getting. The home health nurse that visited me, courtesy of my health insurance, the day after I left the hospital, reassured me that as long as he was getting six to seven wet diapers a day, then he was getting enough. And the nurses in my pediatrician’s office told me not to worry, that he was a big baby that he would eat when he got hungry. And my personal favorite, “the great thing about breast milk is that you never have to worry about how much or how little he’s getting. Because he’ll always get what he needs.” Well, that works great, if your milk comes in.  My colostrum wasn’t enough for my son, Chaz. And my body never produced enough milk to keep a 10 lb. 4 oz. baby boy healthy.

Then when my son’s eyes started rapidly zig-zagging back and forth on that sixth day of life and I called the pediatrician’s office to tell them he was having a seizure, they told me that I didn’t know what I was talking about and that sometimes newborn’s eyes do that as they often wander.  Well, the pediatrician finally agreed to see us. We were immediately sent to the emergency room. Then we were transferred to the children’s hospital. There, my son was put into a drug-induced coma until his seizures were under control. His diagnosis was a stroke due to hypernatremic dehydration.  Children’s Hospital had me use their hospital grade breast pumps those first few days. The most I ever pumped was 3 cc’s. About a teaspoon. Usually, I just came back with mist. Or what looked like spit. There was never milk. I never got engorged. I never leaked. There was never any milk.

I got mad about this.  Especially when I found out that it can and does happen regularly.  It didn’t show up in any of my baby books or videos. So I called our local newspaper, The Virginian Pilot, and asked them to write an article about it, they did, it was called, “Mother Knows Best.” That was later revived by a journalist from The Wall Street Journal in an article entitled, “Dying for Milk: Some Mothers, Trying In Vain to Breast-Feed, Starve Their Infants — `Yuppie Syndrome’ Among Well-Meaning Parents Stems From Bad Advice — A Generation of Perfectionists.”  We made the front page with that one. Of course, that set off a media frenzy.

It was then that I understood why Chaz had suffered. It was so he could help save other babies. And he did. I heard from those parents. I received letters and phone calls from people saying that thanks to that article in or on whatever magazine, newspaper, television show, or radio show, they got their child to the doctor in time. Not all stories had happy endings. But my son’s near-death experience was saving others.

He was now destined for a life of pain and obstacles. But some way, somehow, we would find a way to make it through. And make it through we have.

But as I scroll through the internet, I see that the problem is still there. The breastfeeding zealots are still winning. They are still bullying moms. They are not allowing moms to use breast and bottle feeding together in hospitals and newborn babies are suffering because of it.  They are suffering unnecessarily, and that bothers me. Actually, it pisses me off. I’m okay with you breastfeeding and with you recommending it. But I’m not okay with you jamming it down someone’s throat the way some people do religion.  Society has come to terms with the fact that not all women can get pregnant. So why is it so hard for society to understand that not all women can breastfeed? It’s really that simple. You have a woman, that has a baby. She tries to breastfeed. It doesn’t work. She gives a bottle. End of story. No one gets hurt in that story. But if we force this mom to keep putting her aggravated and very unhappy child to her empty breasts, then we are sending mom and baby down a road of no return.  You cannot reverse brain damage. And you cannot undo death. Breastfeeding is not worth the risk. It’s not. It’s just not.

So here we are twenty-five years later, why can’t the breast-feeders and the bottle feeders get along?  Why does it have to be one or the other? Can’t we coexist? For the sake of the hundreds of thousands that are affected by hypernatremic dehydration each year, can’t we just get along?  For the sake of the children at least.


HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT FED IS BEST

There are many ways you can support the mission of the Fed is Best Foundation. Please consider contributing in the following ways:

  1. Join the Fed is Best Volunteer group to help us reach Obstetric Health Providers to advocate for counseling of new mothers on the importance of safe infant feeding.
  2. Make a donation to the Fed is Best Foundation. We are using funds from donations to cover the cost of our website, our social media ads, our printing and mailing costs to reach health providers and hospitals. We do not accept donations from breast- or formula-feeding companies and 100% of your donations go toward these operational costs. All the work of the Foundation is achieved via the pro bono and volunteer work of its supporters.
  3. Share the stories and the message of the Fed is Best Foundation through word-of-mouth, by posting on your social media page and by sending our resources to expectant moms that you know. Share the Fed is Best campaign letter with everyone you know.
  4. Write a letter to your health providers and hospitals about the Fed is Best Foundation. Write them about feeding complications your child may have experienced.
  5. Print out our letter to obstetric providers and mail them to your local obstetricians, midwives, family practitioners who provide obstetric care and hospitals.
  6. Write your local elected officials about what is happening to newborn babies in hospitals and ask for legal protection of newborn babies from underfeeding and of mother’s rights to honest informed consent on the risks of insufficient feeding of breastfed babies.
  7. Send us your stories. Share with us your successes, your struggles and every thing in between. Every story saves another child from experiencing the same and teaches another mom how to safely feed her baby. Every voice contributes to change.
  8. Send us messages of support. We work every single day to make infant feeding safe and supportive of every mother and child.  Your messages of support keep us all going.

Donate to Fed is Best

Thank you so much from the Founders of the Fed is Best Foundation!

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I Want To Tell Mothers That Bottle Feeding Is Also Beautiful

 

Kristen Elise Umunna
Kristen joined the Fed Is Best Foundation’s Mental Health Advocacy Team to be a voice for mothers, especially mothers of color who are struggling to breastfeed and are experiencing shame for feeding their babies formula.
‘ I want to be a voice that tells every mother that bottle feeding is also beautiful and formula is the best nutrition for the babies who are being nourished by it.’

My story:

February 12, 2014. I was just 1 day postpartum after delivering my firstborn and I remember bawling my eyes out. The nurses at the time were assuring me that I was doing everything “wrong” in regards to feeding my daughter. They woke me out of my sleep at least 7 times in one night to feed my baby and they assured me she was getting enough to eat. One nurse told me to stop crying about breastfeeding pain as it is going to hurt! “If you want to build your supply, you have to keep going!” Never has I felt like more of a failure.

February 13. 2014. I put her to the breast on demand as I was told in my baby friendly hospital. Yet, she kept crying. And crying. And crying. She was making wet diapers, but something was wrong. I just knew it in my heart. So I did what my amazingly supportive husband suggested and I called the pediatrician and took my baby in for an emergency appointment. When the pediatrician walked in the room, she held my baby and handed me a bottle of formula to feed her. She told us we had to take her to the hospital immediately. When we arrived,the nurses and doctors took my baby girl in immediately. After she was stabilized and taking blood tests, she was diagnosed with jaundice, hypernatremia, hypoglycemia and dehydration. She was critically ill because I was not making any breast milk while nursing her. She spent 3 days in the pediatric intensive care unit and we were devastated. I was STILL rudely encouraged to pump every 2-3 hours while sitting in the PICU with my baby, despite not producing any milk.

I’ve never felt so worthless in my mothering journey. I  was suicidal from depression and failing at breastfeeding. I felt like less of a mother and I cried when I would hear others say ‘breast is best.’ I was terrified that I was ruining my child’s future and I feared making bottles of formula in public.

After my daughter’s stay in the PICU, I was still being told by nearly everyone I encountered that I shouldn’t give up. That I must see a lactation consultant. That I wasn’t trying hard enough. I spent so many hours crying over the shame I received from outsiders, crying over how I would afford the costly lactation consultants, and worrying about why this was happening to me. I was eventually diagnosed with PPD and was advised by my doctor to switch to all formula milk to help me through my depression.  I did so and the heavy depression began to lift.

Formula feeding was the best decision for me and my mental health. We were both thriving for the first time and it was glorious.

I then formula fed my 4 subsequent babies from birth. However, I still suffered from PPD after my second and third baby because I was still hoping I could breastfeed, but as I came to terms with my biological breastfeeding challenges, it got better with time. I am happy to say that I did formula feed baby 4 and 5 from day 1 and I’ve had no incidence of postpartum depression. I’ve been confident, empowered, and satisfied with formula feeding all of my 5 babies (ages 5 and under). It has been the best thing for us and my mental health. Over time, I did have testing done and I’ve been diagnosed with insufficient glandular tissue, endometriosis, and a pituitary rumor which could all affect hormonal levels and breastfeeding. My breasts do not make breast milk.

 

I am thankful for the wonderful village that I’ve had to get me through it all. Support is crucial as a mother, and no matter how we feed our babies, we can all agree that being a mother is just plain hard. I’m an advocate for mental health awareness because I know what it’s like to struggle with the day to day emotional and mental chaos with PPD and infant feeding challenges. If you want to join us in our judgment frees upport group, please click here: Private Fed Is Best Support Group

In 5 more months , my 5-year straight formula feeding journey, will be ending. I will miss feeding times as they were  very special times for me.  I would bond while feeding them, looking into their precious eyes and smiling at them, with LOVE.

 


Kristen Elise Umunna

joined the Fed Is Best Foundation’s  Mental Health Advocacy Team to be a voice for mothers, especially mothers of color, who cannot breastfeed to know that they are doing what is best for them and their baby, and there is no shame in that. I want to be a voice that tells every mother that bottle feeding is also beautiful and formula is the best nutrition for the babies who are being nourished by it.

Kristen is a very busy mother to 5 children under the age of 5. Her husband is her biggest supporter and together, they have a thriving, happy family. Kristen is also a photographer for children and you can see her fabulous work here.

To reach out and contact Kristen, please send your message to Contact@Fedisbest.org

 

HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT FED IS BEST

There are many ways you can support the mission of the Fed is Best Foundation. Please consider contributing in the following ways:

  1. Join the  Fed Is Best Volunteer Group to help us reach Obstetric Health Providers to advocate for counseling of new mothers on the importance of safe infant feeding and a variety of other volunteer projects. There is project that will work for you!
  2. Make a tax-deductible donation to the Fed is Best Foundation. We are using funds from donations to cover the cost of our website, our social media ads, our printing and mailing costs to reach health providers and hospitals. We do not accept donations from breast- or formula-feeding companies and 100% of your donations go toward these operational costs. All the work of the Foundation is achieved via the pro bono and volunteer work of its supporters. We are an all volunteer non-profit.
  3. Shop Amazon Smiles  designating The Fed Is Best Foundation as your charity of choice and Amazon will donate a percentage of your purchase to us.
  4. Share the stories and the message of the Fed is Best Foundation through word-of-mouth, by posting on your social media page and by sending our resources to expectant moms that you know. Share the Fed is Best campaign letter with everyone you know.
  5. Write a letter to your health providers and hospitals about the Fed is Best Foundation. Write them about feeding complications your child may have experienced. If you need help writing your letter, please contact us.
  6. Print out our letter to obstetric providers and hand deliver them to your local obstetricians, midwives, family practitioners,  pediatricians and hospitals.
  7. Write your local elected officials about what is happening to newborn babies in hospitals and ask for legal protection of newborn babies from underfeeding and of mother’s rights to honest informed consent on the risks of insufficient feeding of breastfed babies.
  8. Send us your stories. Share with us your successes, your struggles and every thing in between. Every story saves another child from experiencing the same and teaches another mom how to safely feed her baby. Every voice contributes to change.
  9. Send us messages of support. We work every single day to make infant feeding safe and supportive of every mother and child.  Your messages of support keep us all going.
  10. Shop and Fed is Best Foundation will earn cash back! We hope to develop our online safe infant feeding classes with these funds.
  11. If you need judgement free, infant feeding support, we have a private support group– Join

 

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I Attempted Suicide From The Pressure Of Breast Is Best

When I first wrote this blog post, I was blown away by how many mothers related to my breastfeeding story. So many women reached out to let me know I wasn’t alone, and shared nearly identical stories. Which made me both relieved, and also very sad that this mental health side of breastfeeding isn’t talked about enough. I don’t understand why so many people act like it doesn’t happen and don’t talk about it. We can SAVE lives if we DO talk about it!

I was just as equally shocked to see how many mothers thought that I should have kept breastfeeding anyway, even if it meant resenting my son, and being nothing more than a food source and a shell of a person. My story has been picked apart by many lactivists, from accusing me of being selfish, to thinking I just didn’t have enough support or encouragement. I had more than enough support for breastfeeding, but very little support for switching to formula when I knew it was best for my own mental health, and for my son. I can’t fathom telling a mom she’d better breastfeed or might as well be dead. I’m not against breastfeeding. I successfully breastfed my second baby for almost a year! But I don’t believe in breastfeeding at all costs, especially at the expense of the mother’s health, and that includes her mental health. A mother’s mental and emotional health are just as important as her baby’s health. Not every mom gets that oxytocin-induced happy breastfeeding experience. Sometimes it’s the opposite, and those moms need support and recognition too.

Postpartum depression is the most common complication after birth. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the first year postpartum. We NEED to start taking maternal mental health more seriously. The idea that breastfeeding prevents PPD is a myth. It can happen to any mom, no matter how she feeds her baby, and each mom can experience it very differently.

 I had more than enough support for breastfeeding, but very little support for switching to formula when I knew it was best for my own mental health, and for my son. I can’t fathom telling a mom she’d better breastfeed or might as well be dead. But I was told this and I believed them.

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I Begged for Food for my Baby and I Begged for Nipple Relief at my BFHI Hospital

It was December 13th at 2:30 in the morning. My water broke as I was sleeping. I woke my husband up and the panic set in. My son was a scheduled C-Section due to the fact he was breech and he was going to be a big baby according to all the scans. I was scheduled for the 18th, which was my birthday, but he decided to come early. My husband and I rushed to St. Joseph’s Hospital in Tacoma, WA. This hospital was a “Baby-Friendly” hospital, which meant they push things like exclusive breastfeeding, no pacifiers and no nurseries. I didn’t think much of these things at the time, as I was a first-time mom and hadn’t pondered on them much. On paper, this all sounded great, and I was excited to go there. I had a simple birth plan: no circumcision and I wanted my husband in the operating room. That was it really. I trusted the doctors and nurses there to help me out.

The doctors were amazing. I got into the triage area at about 3:00 am and the doctors were awesome about monitoring me and keeping me up-to-date. The anesthesiologist and my OB helped me feel so comfortable. The cesarean went so well, I was in complete shock. After we had our initial bonding as a first-time family, things began to head downhill. By this time, I had been asked about 3 times if I was going to breastfeed, and I was planning to, but I would be doing a lot of pumping since I run around for my job. I was hoping to learn how to use a pump. However, the hour of recovery before being moved to my room was the start of the insanity. I was pushed to try and get my son to breastfeed, even when I was still throwing up from the medicine. I wanted to so badly, but I was vomiting every 15 minutes. I eventually could last for about a half hour before throwing up on myself again.

When I tried to breastfeed for the first time, my breasts were manhandled more than I had ever experienced in my life. I never consented to having so many nurses touch my breasts. I should have been sterner about not having so many people manipulating my breasts in order to breastfeed, but I was still out of it from the surgery.

To give some background at this point: My son was conceived using fertility treatments after many unsuccessful tries and he was born two weeks early. I was only an hour in recovery after a major surgery and I had a swarm of nurses touching my breasts to top it all off.  After trying for several more hours, my nipples became so cracked, they started to bleed. I had about 10 different nurses trying to get him to feed and they all commented on his good latch. Okay! Great! Good latch means he’s getting food, right? No. Unfortunately, I was so dry nothing was there for him and I had to wipe blood off of his lips.

Fast forward to about 36 hours post-birth and my husband and I had no sleep at this time because our son was crying so much from being hungry. This hospital had no nursery and I was supposed to take care of him while recovering from major surgery. My husband helped as much as possible, but he obviously couldn’t help much with breastfeeding. I was at a critical point where the lack of sleep, pain from surgery and pain from cracked nipples was so bad, I broke down.

I begged for something for him, I begged for food because I knew he was so hungry and not getting anything from me. I begged for nipple relief. I am not sure why, but I still hadn’t had a proper lactation consultant stop by.

Hungry and unsettled after nursing.

My nurse finally put in a request for a lactation consultant to see me. It was rather late at this time, and I begged the nurse to please help my baby and get him some formula. She looked at me as if I had committed the biggest sin. She kept making me try before finally (after two hours of begging) she had donor milk on hand. GREAT! Finally, he can get some food. This was now into the late night and my husband and I were so tired from him crying all night that we were done. He passed out. The nurse finally took pity on us and took him to the nurse’s station for about 2 hours. She was the silver lining, even after giving me such a hard time before.

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How Do I tell the Hospital I Don’t Want A Lactation Consultant Visit When I Deliver My Next Baby?

Dear Fed Is Best Foundation,

Thank you for everything that you do! Your organization has made me feel so much better about my situation and personal needs. I did have a question for you though, although I should probably explain my situation first. My daughter is now 14 months old. When I was pregnant with her, I had preeclampsia from about 28 weeks onward. I had to take maternity leave eleven weeks sooner than planned because my job as a full-time middle school substitute teacher was too stressful on my blood pressure. I went to the hospital at 37 weeks with blood pressure of 177/100, and they decided to induce me. After 45+ hrs of labor, followed by an emergency c-section, Clara was born three weeks early.

My plan was to try to breastfeed, at least for the first 6 months. We had skin to skin immediately after birth, and I tried breastfeeding right away. She didn’t latch at first, so we thought we’d try again a little later. Once we got back to my room, we attempted again, but she still wouldn’t latch. She had absolutely no interest. She would turn her head away every time I would push her toward the breast, and she would cry as loud as if we were hurting her.

I asked for a bottle of formula. I was advised of nipple confusion, but I didn’t care. They only let me give her 2 mL, so I could try to breastfeed again later.

Then the bleeding and shaking began. I got back to my room and was only able to hold my daughter for about an hour, when I started to gush blood. The doctors and nurses couldn’t contain it on just the pads that they put underneath you. There was so much blood, they were weighing the pads to see how much I’ve lost. I started getting uncontrollable chills and going in and out of consciousness. From what I remember, they said that I was not clotting. They had to take me down to the OR for a D&C. So the first almost five hours of my daughter’s life, I didn’t get to hold her. My very stressed and scared husband did.

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My Baby Went Through Hell And Suffered Needlessly From Starvation

Jenn T.

My son was born on February 18, 2019. He was 6 lbs 10 oz and had a little trouble regulating his temperature at birth. But after 24 hours, he was okay. I was always told breast was the best way to go. I never breastfed my 9 year old so this was my first experience with it.

My son had latching issues at first and it caused major pain and bleeding. But after latch correction and using nipple shields, the pain dissipated. When we left the hospital, my son weighed 6 lbs (9.3 percent weight loss) and at his checkup the next day, he had gained half an ounce.

At home I was feeding straight from my breasts, every time. My son was content and seemed happy.  He smiled and was great the entire time, so I thought. I didn’t pump to see how much milk I had because the hospital where I delivered told me pumping in the first 6 weeks could cause confusion for the baby with latching.

Now fast forward to when he was 21 days old. He had his three week checkup and he was extra sleepy that morning. When we got to the doctor, and not only did he lose weight, (down to 5.5 lbs), but he also had a temperature of 92 degrees. He was hypothermic! So they sent us urgently to the children’s hospital in Nashville. Continue reading

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“Just Trust Your Body And There Will Be Enough Breast Milk”— I Was Devastated When I Learned She Was Starving

Corrine

I’ve been trying to write this for two months but my mama bear anger has been difficult to process. I’m done with obsessing now, and I hope telling my story will help me and any other mother who may be  feeling the same way. I want to move on from the anger so I can be the happiest and the best mother for my baby.

I researched extensively about birthing and breastfeeding while I was pregnant. I was extremely determined to breastfeed and I learned doing so meant I was a great mother and considering the information regarding the amazing benefits which went largely unchallenged, I just couldn’t understand why any woman wouldn’t want to do this. At no point did I ever read any literature or even speak to anyone who highlighted the difficulties of breastfeeding or that some women were biologically unable to breastfeed. At no point did it ever feel like it was a choice. There was no choice – good mothers breastfeed, they gave their babies the very best- the “gold standard” they called it.  My mindset had also taken on a deep suspicion of formula as an unnatural ‘chemical substance’ and basically a second-best feeding alternative and who wants to give their baby second best. Not only this but I had been repeatedly advised by mothers in support groups not to supplement as this reduced your supply and interfered with the breastfeeding relationship which would ultimately rob your baby of the “best”. There was absolutely no choice.

At no point did I ever read any literature or even speak to anyone who highlighted the difficulties of breastfeeding or that some women were biologically unable to breastfeed. At no point did it ever feel like it was a choice.

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My Baby Was Put in a Dangerous Situation By Rooming-In with an Exhausted Mom

By US New and World Report Columnist, Stacy Cervenka with Commentary by Christie del Castillo-Hegyi, MD

Several weeks ago, as I was perusing Facebook, I came across an article on the Fed Is Best Foundation’s page that felt like a punch in the stomach. According to new medical research, the number of incidents where exhausted new mothers drop their babies and the incidence of newborn head injuries had gone up substantially in hospitals that no longer offer newborn nurseries, but instead require mothers to “room-in” with their babies. It further angered me to read that most of these head injuries took place while a mother was breastfeeding.

I was so upset by this article that I couldn’t sleep that night, because all I could think was, “That could have been Leo. Why, why, why was I ever put in such a dangerous and inhumane situation that this could have happened?”

For many reasons, I have only shared this story with close friends and family, but here goes:

My pregnancy with our first child, Leo, was very difficult due to hyperemesis graviderum (HG). I had to take a medical leave of absence from my job and was confined to bed most days. I made several trips a week to urgent care to get IVs, as I couldn’t even hold down water. I lost a lot of weight and was very weak and exhausted. When my water finally broke, I hadn’t slept comfortably in probably six months. I had gotten almost no sleep the night before, as I was crouched in my shower vomiting and dry heaving (as usual). The labor and delivery itself was uneventful, but it was another 28 hours with no sleep or real rest. Our son Leo was born six weeks premature and had some minor issues regulating his body temperature and with his bilirubin.

After Leo was born, per the policy at UC Davis Medical Center, he was expected to “room-in” with us. When I was pregnant, this sounded lovely. Who wouldn’t want all the bonding time possible with their precious new baby? However, the night after Leo’s birth, I was exhausted, weak, and in so much pain, I could barely function. To add to this challenge, my husband and I both happen to be blind. There are thousands of blind parents across the United States who successfully care for their children each day, but being blind does often require us to concentrate more fully on what we’re doing. Doing things nonvisually, especially when you’re doing them for the first time, can require a little more physical and cognitive energy. However, I was just so physically exhausted and emotionally fried. All night long, the nurses kept getting me up to nurse and pump. I was so clumsy with exhaustion. I kept waiting for the point where they were going to insist that I get some sleep and recuperate, but that never came. It became clear to me that the only help the nurses were going to give us was to make sure that I was breastfeeding. When I wasn’t breastfeeding, the lactation consultants wanted the baby to sleep with me, so we could get lots of skin-to-skin. This only ensured that I continued to get no sleep, because I just couldn’t get physically comfortable sleeping with the baby in the hospital bed and I was anxious about crushing him or pushing him off the bed somehow. (This concern may have been unfounded, but the fact was, I wasn’t physically comfortable sleeping with him; my husband and I had never wanted to co-sleep; and I just wanted to get some real rest.)

Because my son was born slightly premature, we spent 4 nights in the hospital with him. About 48 hours after his birth, my husband ran home to get some more clothes for us. I was alone in our room with the baby. While I was breastfeeding him, I fell asleep. A doctor woke me up some time later. The door to my room was wide open. I was sitting up in bed, with my hospital gown completely unbuttoned and my breasts just hanging out with Leo asleep across my lap. I was so freaked out. It was only good luck that he hadn’t fallen off the bed head first. I had fallen asleep sometime in the seconds between unbuttoning my hospital gown and putting Leo to my breast.

I was so upset that I finally broke down crying in front of the doctor. “I’m so tired. This is so hard,” was all I could say.

The doctor, who was a young intern or resident, had the following compassionate response: “What did you expect? Being a parent is hard,” he said.

Even at that time, before I had had time to fully process his comment, I thought, “Wow; thank you for that kind, professional and empathetic response. Is that what they taught you to say at medical school? Here I am in obvious psychological distress and that’s the help you give me?”

As the days wore on, it became abundantly clear that most of the staff didn’t care how I was doing physically or psychologically, as long as our breastfeeding was progressing nicely. My husband was as exhausted as I was and Leo had arrived 6 weeks early, so my mother had not been able to fly from Florida to California right after the birth as planned. You would have to know me to know how completely out of character this was for me to do, but as I was on the phone talking to my mom, I started crying and begging her to fly out to Sacramento right away. “I need somebody here who cares about ME!” Continue reading

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I Hid The Bottle That Saved My Baby’s Life From Hypoglycemia

By Cassandra M., Fed is BEst Mom and Advocate

When I was pregnant, I was 100 percent sure I wanted to breastfeed my baby. I read countless books and attended a prenatal lactation class to help me prepare for breastfeeding. I learned a lot of things, including that the size of a newborn stomach is no greater than an olive (so untrue), and that colostrum is all they need eat during their first days.

“Just trust your body.”

Breastfeeding was described as a natural process and all mothers will make enough milk for their baby.

My baby was born by cesarean after 15 hours of an induction for a vaginal delivery. When my baby was born he was much larger than we thought and he weighed 9 pounds 8 ounces! I breastfed him all of the time because the nurses told me he needed extra colostrum from being so large to prevent hypoglycemia.

Carolina11

He loved breastfeeding and would want to nurse all of the time. But then he began to scream frantically if he wasn’t breastfeeding and wouldn’t stop.  The nurses checked his glucose level and he had hypoglycemia. They gave me a bottle of formula to feed him right away because hypoglycemia can cause brain damage if not treated immediately. The nurses did an excellent job keeping my baby safe, but I was in shock and confused about why my body wasn’t making enough milk.

Even though I fed him that first bottle, I refused to give him an additional one. It gives me chills every time I remember how I was so brainwashed to ‘trust my body’ and I was allowing  my to baby starve. Finally, I accepted I would need to feed him a bit of formula after each breastfeeding session. My husband confessed to me he had a plan to feed him while I was sleeping.

Carolina33

Someone took this picture while I wasn’t looking, because I was trying to hide the bottle (the bottle that was saving my baby’s life) from all pictures.

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Thank You, Thank You, Thank You From The Bottom Of My Heart

 

I just want to say thank you so much for your foundation’s web page and support group. I can’t say thank you enough! This is exactly the support system I have needed in my life since my daughter was admitted into the hospital at 3 weeks old due to failure to thrive.

This was worst experience of my life as a new mama and when the doctor told me my daughter could have died I was broken.

Because of the intense pressure, I felt the need to exclusively breastfeed my daughter. Yet for the 3 weeks that I tried I had no idea that I was starving my daughter ? My midwife was absolutely useless and she is a the biggest reason why this happened to us as she told me to keep breastfeeding and everything was fine. Long story short, I just didn’t have enough milk, and I didn’t find out until after my daughter was admitted to the hospital. This was the worst feeling in the world.  Formula is the only reason my daughter is alive today.  Formula saved my daughter’s life!

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