Category: Stories from Mothers

Mother and newborn baby sleeping peacefully.

My “Baby Friendly” Hospital Harmed My Baby: How Hospitals Can Do Better

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Good information isn’t always enough to overcome bad systems.

By Sarah Christopherson

I wrote this article in late 2018, a few months after giving birth to my daughter. My experience at my “Baby Friendly†hospital was traumatic and it was painful to relive, but I felt like I could help other new parents by telling my story, and it seemed like a good match for the work I was doing professionally to dismantle coercive systems that deprive women of their autonomy.

At the time, I was the policy advocacy director for a national non-profit focused on empowering women as they navigate healthcare in the US. My article was printed in our organizational newsletter in early 2019 and published on our website.

It was shared by Fed Is Best, which also interviewed me. From time to time, I would send the link to expecting parents, not to scare them, but to empower them to stand up for themselves when they sensed that something wasn’t right. It helped me to help others. And telling my story made a difference.

A friend who gave birth in the same hospital texted me, “Your article helped me so much when I was having trouble breastfeeding. I look at the pictures of [my son’s] early days and think about how it would have gotten worse if I hadn’t talked to you and others. I started supplementing with formula early AND I signed that dumb form without blinking. The post-partum period exhausts you so that normal problems you would easily solve seem so much harder… and then you’re dealing with some of the most consequential decisions you’ve ever had to make. It was the things I’d already thought through a bit—like the stuff in your piece—that I was prepared to tackle.â€

Eventually my non-profit changed leadership and I moved into a different policy field. My infant turned into a happy, healthy, precocious, and articulate 6-year-old bouncing ball of energy. And that’s where I thought things ended.

Until last week, when I discovered that without my knowledge or permission, my former organization had rewritten my article in January. They’d kept my name, my story, and the picture my husband took of me in a hospital gown holding my infant daughter on the day she was born. But they’d stripped out paragraph after paragraph that cautioned against breastfeeding coercion. Continue reading →

Tina Cartwright, Rebranding Motherhood founder.

I Learned To Prioritize My Well-Being Alongside My Baby’s and Shed the Suffocating Cloak of Societal Expectations and I was able to rebrand motherhood for myself

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By Tina Cartwright, Founder of Rebranding Motherhood

My journey through childbirth and early motherhood was far from easy, but it was undeniably transformative. It taught me the importance of resilience, self-compassion, and the power of community in navigating motherhood’s most profound challenges. Before reaching this undeniable truth, my birth trauma thrust me into an arduous journey as I entered motherhood.

Birth trauma is tricky because society would love to put a clean, simple definition on it. However, trauma is defined by the individual and what that experience led you to feel afterward. For me, my birth trauma started when I first held my baby. The elusive bond between mother and child didn’t materialize instantaneously for me, unlike the glossy portrayals Hollywood and social media would suggest.

This sanitized imagery further claimed I would be overwhelmed, almost washed over with the deepest levels of instant joy and admiration for my new baby. Within seconds of this stark realization hitting me, I instantly began a silent inner panic that never quieted until I was ultimately diagnosed with PMAD (postpartum depression) and started a formal treatment plan.

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My Breastfeeding Struggles Led to My Postpartum Depression

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My breastfeeding journey was not at all what I envisioned for my little one and me. When I was pregnant with my firstborn, I heard stories from my mom that she never used a bottle with my brother and me. When I researched breastfeeding, parents were told how wonderful and natural it is. I believed breastfeeding would come naturally. 

The day my son was born was a whirlwind. I had to have a c-section due to complications, but we were so excited to meet him. The first few days, I tried to get him to latch on, and he would stay for a little while and then unlatch. I felt uneasy that he wasn’t getting enough colostrum, but the medical staff told me I was doing great. My husband and I were so focused on getting breastfeeding down that I forgot to get pictures of me and my little one. My focus was getting him fed the right way. Sometimes, nursing hurt so much that  I would dread it when it was time for feeding. The on-site lactation consultant came the day after the c-section. She was with me for an hour and told me everything was wonderful!  After she left, my baby would cry, and I knew something wasn’t right. My husband and I decided it was time to ask for formula. When we asked, the nurse kept asking us if we were sure. As first-time parents, we questioned if we were doing the right thing.

I was so tired and needed rest that my husband fed my little one formula. A nurse came in and said, “Dad! Don’t! Breastfeeding is the way! Don’t do that to your little one. Your wife is doing great.” She grabbed the formula from my husband’s hands and stashed it in a cabinet. My husband and I looked at each other in shock, and I tried to breastfeed again.

We were discharged on a Friday, and over the weekend, my son cried a lot, and I thought he might be a fussy baby. On Monday morning, we saw that my son had orange urine in his diaper. I lost it. I remember holding him and crying, blaming myself. We went to the doctor’s office and were told that he was dehydrated. He also lost a lot of weight, more than he should have, and my doctor suggested it was time to supplement my baby with formula. 

After that, I cried for hours, and I could not get over the guilt. I kept thinking: “Why didn’t I know he was hungry or not getting enough? How could I have let my baby starve?” The guilt stayed with me for months. 

This event was what I believe was the catalyst for my PPD/PPA.

After that, I became obsessed with feeding my son. I would write down how many ounces of formula or breastmilk he had and at what times. I no longer breastfed, but I pumped, so I knew exactly how many ounces he was consuming. Even when he was a few months older, I would still wake him up to feed him because I thought he would become dehydrated again. I hated when my little one would cry because it would be a reminder of the terrible weekend of his life, and I would break down, and I would cry. I spent so much of the first year of his life blaming and shaming myself for unintentional starvation. 

My husband and I hope to have another little one, and I know what I would do differently. I feel guilty that my little one had a rough start on his feeding journey, but I try to remember that as he was learning, I was also learning. 

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate Fed is Best  Foundation and their work. I honestly don’t know what would have happened to me without finding your community. I got so emotional writing my story.  Thank you for being there for mothers and babies.

Warmly,

Caitlin

Mother breastfeeding baby: success isn't exclusive.

“Parenting Classes Need to Discuss Other Feeding Options, Not Just Breastfeeding”

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Hello,

I saw on your website that you guys are encouraging parents to share their feeding journey and I thought I would share mine.

My baby was born March 6, 2021, after 48 hours of labor which resulted in a c-section, just shy of 39 weeks gestation. She was 6 pounds 3 ounces and healthy as can be. My plan was always to breastfeed, so the lactation consultants (LCs) in the hospital helped me right away with latching. We discovered a tongue tie and that was corrected when we left the hospital. 

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Mother and newborn baby sleeping peacefully.

National Women’s Health Advocate Describes How A Baby-Friendly Hospital Starved Her Baby

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Sarah Christopherson is a mother and the Policy Advocacy Director at the National Women’s Health Network, a non-profit advocacy organization in Washington, D.C. She talks about her breastfeeding experiences and her recent experience in a Baby-Friendly hospital where her child became severely dehydrated and lost 15% of her birth weight while in the hospital. She discusses how policies can negatively affect patient health and how systemic change is needed to support positive patient health outcomes and prevent patient coercion.