Hello,
I saw on your website that you guys are encouraging parents to share their feeding journey and I thought I would share mine.
My baby was born March 6, 2021, after 48 hours of labor which resulted in a c-section, just shy of 39 weeks gestation. She was 6 pounds 3 ounces and healthy as can be. My plan was always to breastfeed, so the lactation consultants (LCs) in the hospital helped me right away with latching. We discovered a tongue tie and that was corrected when we left the hospital.
They tell you that if you prepare enough, breastfeeding will work. They tell you that all you need is support, commitment, and trust in your body, and you will be successful. If only it were that simple.
What they don’t tell you is that your mammary biology can have limitations. I am that mom.
I knew I might have issues. I had breast reduction surgery back in 2001, but had been told that using the right technique would preserve my ability to breastfeed. Nonetheless, I set out preparing to ensure I would be successful. Besides doing yoga, pilates, weight training, and exercise, I entered the midwife program and prepped diligently. I did prenatal workshops and tracked down a book on how to successfully be a breast feeding after reduction mom.
I hired a private lactation consultant for a session ahead of time. We talked about teas and tinctures, techniques, and diet to help my supply be optimal. (Note: there is no evidence that teas, tinctures, or foods increase milk supply). We talked about how I could use a supplemental nursing system if necessary. I read extensively and was convinced breastfeeding was the only way to feed my son to ensure his well-being, and I would have no problem breastfeeding because I had SUPPORT.
Note: Unfortunately, she was not informed of all her significant risk factors and how to supplement her baby until her milk supply was enough to feed her baby safely. Breast reduction surgery requires specific management and interventions that she did not receive.
I am sharing my story because I know new parents are struggling with lactivism right now; they need to hear my story to protect themselves. It was lactivism that compromised my mental health, and it was lactivism that caused my child to suffer.
I thought lactivist rhetoric existed only on social media, but I was wrong. It’s also part of our medical institutions and is harming moms and babies.
When I was pregnant, I wasn’t sure how I wanted to feed my baby, so I planned to try breastfeeding and switch to formula if it didn’t work. After her birth, my daughter had a difficult time breastfeeding. My nurse told me that babies are born to breastfeed, so I should keep trying until she does. I stayed up all night with her trying to breastfeed, but she just
wouldn’t for more than a few minutes and would fall back asleep. Continue reading
As soon as the word “formula” rolls off your tongue and leaves your mouth for everyone to hear, uncomfortable silence occurs. Parents are reluctant to talk about or admit freely they feed their babies infant formula. Most are suffering from the deeply entrenched shame and judgment that is associated with formula feeding; they have experienced it first hand in countless social media parenting groups, from friends, their health care professionals, WIC offices, and even in their hospitals.
How did we get to the place where talking about infant formula is profoundly divisive, shameful, and anxiety provoking for parents?
Let’s face it, infant FORMULA is the new seven letter F word. The scarlet letter F. FAILURE.
Written by Sarah Edge
I am a Counsellor Psychotherapist, specialising in postnatal mental health in the United Kingdom. I am also a Mum of two small children. I recently wrote a guest blog on “The Process of Healing From Infant Feeding Trauma, Guilt, and Shame: When You Wanted To Breastfeed and Couldn’t” for the Fed is Best Foundation, and when I was asked to write again, I jumped at the chance. In this piece, I aim to examine the Fed is Best message through my therapist’s lens and discuss why the Fed is Best message is an essential part of healing and recovery.
