Mothers make hundreds of choices every day on behalf of their babies. They want to do everything right so they read parenting articles and talk to their doctors. They pester experienced mothers, the embattled soldiers who have come before them. Then, in the moments of quiet contemplation, they must choose what feels right.

More than anything else, it seems, motherhood causes women to question themselves. Even the most confident and secure women feel like they have to justify their choices when it involves their children.

I chose not to breast-feed for reasons as personal as any parent’s decision on circumcision, crying it out or co-sleeping. I’m not here to debate the health benefits of breast over bottle; those are proven. But line a bunch of 8-year-olds up next to each other, and you wouldn’t be able to tell which ones were fed formula. To my knowledge, no college asks whether an applicant was breast-fed during the admission process.