I Learned To Prioritize My Well-Being Alongside My Baby’s and Shed the Suffocating Cloak of Societal Expectations and I was able to rebrand motherhood for myself

By Tina Cartwright, Founder of Rebranding Motherhood

My journey through childbirth and early motherhood was far from easy, but it was undeniably transformative. It taught me the importance of resilience, self-compassion, and the power of community in navigating motherhood’s most profound challenges. Before reaching this undeniable truth, my birth trauma thrust me into an arduous journey as I entered motherhood.

Birth trauma is tricky because society would love to put a clean, simple definition on it. However, trauma is defined by the individual and what that experience led you to feel afterward. For me, my birth trauma started when I first held my baby. The elusive bond between mother and child didn’t materialize instantaneously for me, unlike the glossy portrayals Hollywood and social media would suggest.

This sanitized imagery further claimed I would be overwhelmed, almost washed over with the deepest levels of instant joy and admiration for my new baby. Within seconds of this stark realization hitting me, I instantly began a silent inner panic that never quieted until I was ultimately diagnosed with PMAD (postpartum depression) and started a formal treatment plan.

Returning home, the reality of motherhood hit me like a tidal wave. Insomnia gnawed at my sanity, making the relentless cycle of feedings an insurmountable challenge. The pressure to excel at breastfeeding, coupled with the isolation of feeling like I had to go it alone, only exacerbated my struggles. I remember this deep feeling of hopelessness that went from a feeling to this “real-life” dark hole I was stuck in; the hole kept getting bigger, and the light shining in continued to be smaller and smaller until I was forced to face what was happening to me.

The pressure to exclusively breastfeed has now been linked to mental health complications, according to a recent research paper published in Research Psychiatry

It’s hard in general to breastfeed, but no one, of course, tells us that instead, we are strapped with the heavy weight of societal pressure that it’s the ONLY way, but a well-nourished baby is the end goal; a gaining weight in line with appropriate health markers and who is thriving. But sadly, moms are fed the opposite narrative. As I wrestled to attempt to nurse a baby who did not want to do anything but nurse every hour and minute of the day, it was beyond difficult. I remember feeling like I had no moment to be in my body alone because my body was now the only food source for my baby.

These times were hard but important to my motherhood journey because they forced me to receive help. Ultimately, I made a plan with my partner, and we developed a plan to fold in exclusive nursing with pumping and infant formula. Changing my feeding method was a significant milestone for me to cross, but once I did, my mothering challenges with feeding subsided as the pressure was no longer singular. Both parents, not just mom, were able to address the never-ending feeding cues an infant constantly announces to its caregivers.

Changing my feeding method was a significant milestone for me to cross, but once I did, my mothering challenges with feeding subsided as the pressure was no longer singular

My journey through childbirth and early motherhood was far from easy, but it was undeniably transformative. It taught me the importance of support, resilience, self-compassion, and the power of community in navigating motherhood’s most profound challenges. The biggest misconception about motherhood is that it’s a thing meant to be done as a solo mission’, but my birth trauma reinforced for me early that motherhood support is a requirement. Instead, I discovered a crucial truth: I wasn’t alone in my journey. Seeking solace and guidance from healthcare professionals, therapists, support groups, and community with fellow mothers gave me the desperately needed lifeline. Through their support, I learned to prioritize my well-being alongside my baby’s and shed the suffocating cloak of societal expectations. I was able to rebrand motherhood for myself.