Author: B. Jody Segrave-Daly, RN, IBCLC

Newborn baby sleeping on mother's shoulder.

My Lactation Consultant Slapped My Nipple And Called My Nipple Shield A Cheater

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I’d heard pretty much since starting puberty that breast is best. It’s in movies, books, social media, health class, and even in my own family. So, you can imagine my surprise to be sitting across from a very concerned doctor with a starving infant hearing that my breast milk wasn’t enough.

My baby gained only 7 ounces in 1 month.

I wanted to breastfeed because I wanted to do what was absolutely best for my son, no questions asked. But before he was born, the intense pressure to exclusively breast feed was causing anxiety attacks, frequently. I have flat nipples but I was assured breast feeding would be no problem.

Then I had my beautiful baby boy. We immediately had issues with breastfeeding. One lactation consultant slapped my nipple trying to get it to poke out and called the nipple shield a “cheater”. So I didn’t use one after that. We were not allowed to give him a pacifier. It was four days of pure hell in the hospital with both of us crying.

I was told over and over my body would produce enough milk for my baby and to just keep breastfeeding.

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Sleeping baby with milk dribble.

My Baby Was Starving – She Lost 17 Percent Of Her Body Weight While Exclusively Breastfeeding

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My daughter was born after 14 hours of labor with no issues, in a baby-friendly hospital, and with what all of the medical professionals assured me was a perfect latch. The nurses kept telling me she would fall asleep soon, that all newborns do, but she was up for 7 hours after birth, most of the hours latched onto me. By the next morning, my nipples were already raw. I had lanolin I had brought with me that I applied as much as I could, but my daughter was literally on my breast for 5-hour stretches. Everyone assured me that she was cluster feeding, that I was doing a great thing by breastfeeding her, and we were sent home with no concerns being expressed, despite her 10 percent weight loss that I was told was normal. (This is not normal.)

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Newborn baby crying loudly on towel.

My Baby Starved at Kaiser Permanente – I Was Told Her Stomach Size Was Only 5 mL

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My name is Cynthia G., a first time mom at the age of 39 with our miracle baby who we never expected since we were told we had “unexplained” infertility. Our daughter Amelia was born in 2016 at Kaiser Permanente in Irvine, California. I didn’t have a birth plan nor was I one of those moms-to-be that had it all planned out and knew every detail about having a child or going into labor. But what I did know was that I intended to breastfeed our daughter.

We were very happy with Kaiser’s baby-friendly approach and their pride of being one of the hospitals with a very high breastfeeding rate. We were told from the beginning that bottles and pacifiers were not allowed in the hospital so that the newborns and mothers had a chance to breastfeed. Of course, this information was never a red flag, but instead I found it to be another step towards encouraging breastfeeding. We even took the breastfeeding class they offered, but again we thought we were in good hands with great experts and completely trusted them. Continue reading →

Baby nestled close to mother's chest.

I Am Not a Formula Feeding Mom

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Writing helps me process my emotions. A few weeks ago, I wrote this, and have debated whether or not to share it, because sharing the things I write makes me feel really vulnerable. But, today I needed to reread it to remind myself that I am not a “formula-feeding mom”, I’m just a loving mother. I decided to go ahead and share it with you guys. I’m hoping that this can maybe help someone else who may need a reminder that motherhood is not defined by how we feed our babies!

Some days I have to remind myself that I am not a failure.

I didn’t fail at breastfeeding. I did not fail at being a mother.

Society and my inner voice may sometimes convince me that I came up short in the infant-feeding part of motherhood, but in the rare moments of clarity, I know that this is not true. I am confident in my decision to exclusively formula-feed my son.

You see, I didn’t start out motherhood with the goal of breastfeeding my son. It wasn’t my plan to exclusively pump. Nor was it my plan to formula-feed my baby. My only plan was to feed him.

 

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Here's an alt tag for the image: Infant's mouth with visible tooth.

Breast Is Best Failed Me And It Failed My Starving Son

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My son was born at 8:33 am on a Saturday, delivered vaginally at 36 weeks and 3 days gestation. He weighed 6 pounds 3 ounces and was in the 51st percentile for his gestational age. He latched onto my breast within the first 15 minutes. It was painful for me, but my nurse said his latch was great and that he was eating well. I continued to put him to breast every 3 hours as I had been instructed. We were told that we could see a lactation consultant, but one never came to our room. I was not concerned since we were told he had a great latch and was feeding well.

On Sunday morning, we found out that he had lost weight and that he was suffering from jaundice and would need phototherapy. The medical staff told us that weight loss was normal and that his bilirubin levels were “borderline,” so the photo-therapy was just a preventative measure. Throughout the day he alternated between lethargy and crying. He only voided a few times, and his urine was very dark. His latch was still very painful, but I kept bringing him to the breast to nurse every 3 hours. He never seemed to calm down after nursing.

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