I No Longer Judge Other Mothers; My Breastfeeding Challenges Have Absolutely Changed Me As a Mom, a Woman, And a Friend

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As a nurse, I knew I wanted to breastfeed my baby. I learned everything I could about breastfeeding, and I just knew that it would work for us. In nursing school, we were told that anyone could breastfeed who wanted to and I believed it. I would not even consider the possibility of feeding my children in any way other than nursing and was extremely judgmental of anyone who did not breastfeed their children. I honestly thought they were lazy, selfish, and unwilling to do the work.  I lived by the mantra that “breast is best!” My son was born, and I was so excited to meet him and begin our breastfeeding journey.  Unfortunately, we struggled from the very beginning.  It was very difficult to get him to latch, and when he did, he wouldn’t stay on very long.  Eventually, our son became difficult to wake up, but the nurses responded to our frustrations by saying, “he must not be hungry!” By discharge, I didn’t feel like I knew what I was doing. I bravely went home,  believing this was normal.  We would figure it out because “breast is best.”

Dehydration2My husband and I cried a lot during the first 24 hours at home. We fought to wake our sleepy newborn up, but we were rarely successful, and when we were, we couldn’t get him to eat. I kept on refusing to allow my husband to give our son any formula because I didn’t want it to ruin our breastfeeding relationship. We went to his newborn appointment when he was four days old. I knew at that point things weren’t going well but wasn’t prepared for the realities we were about to face. Our son had lost 13% of his body weight, he was hypothermic with a body temperature of 94.9, he was hypoglycemic, and had lost his reflexes. Our pediatrician looked at us with very sad eyes and kindly but firmly, explained our son was very sick and needed to eat now. Continue reading →

“Parenting Classes Need to Discuss Other Feeding Options, Not Just Breastfeeding”

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Hello,

I saw on your website that you guys are encouraging parents to share their feeding journey and I thought I would share mine.

My baby was born March 6, 2021, after 48 hours of labor which resulted in a c-section, just shy of 39 weeks gestation. She was 6 pounds 3 ounces and healthy as can be. My plan was always to breastfeed, so the lactation consultants (LCs) in the hospital helped me right away with latching. We discovered a tongue tie and that was corrected when we left the hospital. 

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I Had All of The Support In The World And Breastfeeding Still Didn’t Work.

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They tell you that if you prepare enough, breastfeeding will work. They tell you that all you need is support, commitment, and trust in your body, and you will be successful. If only it were that simple.

What they don’t tell you is that your mammary biology can have limitations. I am that mom. 

I knew I might have issues. I had breast reduction surgery back in 2001, but had been told that using the right technique would preserve my ability to breastfeed. Nonetheless, I set out preparing to ensure I would be successful. Besides doing yoga, pilates, weight training, and exercise, I entered the midwife program and prepped diligently. I did prenatal workshops and tracked down a book on how to successfully be a breast feeding after reduction mom.

I hired a private lactation consultant for a session ahead of time. We talked about teas and tinctures, techniques, and diet to help my supply be optimal. (Note: there is no evidence that teas, tinctures, or foods increase milk supply). We talked about how I could use a supplemental nursing system if necessary. I read extensively and was convinced breastfeeding was the only way to feed my son to ensure his well-being, and I would have no problem breastfeeding because I had SUPPORT. 

Note: Unfortunately, she was not informed of all her significant risk factors and how to supplement her baby until her milk supply was enough to feed her baby safely. Breast reduction surgery requires specific management and interventions that she did not receive.

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This is What Lactivism Does to Parents and I Was Lucky to Hear the Words “Fed Is Best”

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I am sharing my story because I know new parents are struggling with lactivism right now; they need to hear my story to protect themselves. It was lactivism that compromised my mental health, and it was lactivism that caused my child to suffer.

I thought lactivist rhetoric existed only on social media, but I was wrong. It’s also part of our medical institutions and is harming moms and babies. 

When I was pregnant, I wasn’t sure how I wanted to feed my baby, so I planned to try breastfeeding and switch to formula if it didn’t work. After her birth, my daughter had a difficult time breastfeeding. My nurse told me that babies are born to breastfeed, so I should keep trying until she does. I stayed up all night with her trying to breastfeed, but she just

wouldn’t for more than a few minutes and would fall back asleep.    Continue reading →

How Do Misogyny and Feminism Impact the Breast is Best Narrative?

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Is Modern Day Breastfeeding Advocacy really feminist?

Breastfeeding advocacy is often characterized as feminist, and many people in the current breastfeeding advocacy community would describe themselves as feminists. Feminism, after all, is not just about demanding equality to men; it is about valuing women—our brains, bodies, and work—as much as we do men’s.[1] Breastfeeding and the provision of human milk is work, and many feminists—rightfully—expect that work to be valued.[2]

Modern breastfeeding advocacy started in the 1950s; La Leche League International (LLLI) began as a grassroots organization of women who wanted to breastfeed their babies and assist other interested mothers in doing so. Founders Marian Tompson and Mary White had experienced breastfeeding problems with their first children, leading to unwanted weaning; after successfully breastfeeding subsequent children and learning that many other mothers had been in the same position (bottle-feeding formula out of necessity rather than choice), they organized a group dedicated to helping others who wanted to breastfeed successfully. 

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