By Beth Kao, Fed is Best Mom and Advocate
When I finally got pregnant via IVF with my son Ike, I decided that I wanted to breastfeed him. Why? Immunological benefits, possible lower obesity and diabetes risk, possibly smarter… As a scientist, I didn’t quite buy the higher IQ selling points of breastfeeding, but the immunological benefits seemed plausible to me. My two siblings, who seemed to have far fewer instances of illness and health issues, were breastfed while I was exclusively formula fed, so anecdotally, it seemed that breastfeeding made a positive impact on health. I delivered my son at a hospital that was touted to have one of the best birth centers in the Bay Area. One of the key takeaways from the birth center tour was that breastfeeding was specifically embraced and emphasized, so I put on my birth plan that I planned to breastfeed.
Labor and delivery was difficult. After 27 hours of labor, nearly 4 hours of pushing, and a failed vacuum extraction, Baby Ike was delivered via C-section. When the nurse handed Ike to me to breastfeed him, he would not latch, but would push me away and scream like I was trying to murder him–and this would happen each time I tried to breastfeed him. Despite this, the nurses had me adhere to a breastfeeding schedule every 2 hours (because, they reminded me, my birth plan stated that I wanted to breastfeed). Each time the nurse or my husband handed Ike to me to breastfeed, I was filled with dread. I fought the urge to break down into tears as Ike pushed me away and arched his back while screaming as I tried to coax him into latching onto my breast.
“I think our baby hates me,” I said to my husband after the umpteenth failed breastfeeding attempt.
My milk did not come in while I was in the hospital recovering, and did not come in until 9 days post-partum. Since my baby wasn’t latching, a breast pump was delivered to my room to help stimulate milk production. I was not given instructions on how to use the pump and I used the wrong size flange and made the mistake of turning the suction power all the way to the highest level. I also was pumping dry breasts for over 45 minutes which led to sore, cracked nipples and not a drop of milk! So I hand expressed as much colostrum into a 1 cc syringe and fed my newborn whatever I could squeeze out of my breasts. Continue reading →