By Beth Kao, Fed is Best Mom and Advocate

When I finally got pregnant via IVF with my son Ike, I decided that I wanted to breastfeed him. Why?  Immunological benefits, possible lower obesity and diabetes risk, possibly smarter… As a scientist, I didn’t quite buy the higher IQ selling points of breastfeeding, but the immunological benefits seemed plausible to me. My two siblings, who seemed to have far fewer instances of illness and health issues, were breastfed while I was exclusively formula fed, so anecdotally, it seemed that breastfeeding made a positive impact on health. I delivered my son at a hospital that was touted to have one of the best birth centers in the Bay Area.  One of the key takeaways from the birth center tour was that breastfeeding was specifically embraced and emphasized, so I put on my birth plan that I planned to breastfeed.   

Labor and delivery was difficult. After 27 hours of labor, nearly 4 hours of pushing, and a failed vacuum extraction, Baby Ike was delivered via C-section. When the nurse handed Ike to me to breastfeed him, he would not latch, but would push me away and scream like I was trying to murder him–and this would happen each time I tried to breastfeed him.  Despite this, the nurses had me adhere to a breastfeeding schedule every 2 hours (because, they reminded me, my birth plan stated that I wanted to breastfeed). Each time the nurse or my husband handed Ike to me to breastfeed, I was filled with dread. I fought the urge to break down into tears as Ike pushed me away and arched his back while screaming as I tried to coax him into latching onto my breast.

 “I think our baby hates me,” I said to my husband after the umpteenth failed breastfeeding attempt.

My milk did not come in while I was in the hospital recovering, and did not come in until 9 days post-partum. Since my baby wasn’t latching, a breast pump was delivered to my room to help stimulate milk production.  I was not given instructions on how to use the pump and I used the wrong size flange and made the mistake of turning the suction power all the way to the highest level.  I also was pumping dry breasts for over 45 minutes which led to sore, cracked nipples and not a drop of milk!   So I hand expressed as much colostrum into a 1 cc syringe and fed my newborn whatever I could squeeze out of my breasts.   Continue reading →

We’ve had two sad experiences with the ‘Baby-Friendly’ aspiring hospital, Massachusetts General Hospital. Both issues involved two things: the fact that I had breast reduction surgery and unknown/limited milk supply and the fact that my wife induced lactation.

With our first baby, my wife breastfed her immediately after birth while I recovered for a minute (fast, unmedicated, and awesome labor). She then refused to latch on to my breasts and the hospital encouraged (kind of forced) my wife to put the baby to her breast. She was in med school and had wanted to pump and never wanted to be the primary nurser.  She started to cry because we were offered no information or choice in the matter. I was encouraged to continue putting a crying, non-latching baby to my breast over and over. It was horrid. We left the hospital with the advice to “Keep switching her back and forth,” which resulted in her becoming malnourished.

This experience greatly impacted our experience of early parenthood. We felt that we had no choices and that the hospital was myopically focused on breastfeeding and not on baby feeding. They kept saying, “You never know! You might have a full breast milk supply!” But after surgery, my chances of full milk supply were very, very slim. I was pumping and getting a dime size (flat) drop of colostrum.

They kept saying that it’s normal to have very little colostrum.  The hospital absolutely refused to face reality. This makes me really sad to write about. But it’s important.

During our second baby’s birth (same moms, same roles) we brought my wife’s pumped milk and she actually left the hospital to take care of the older kiddo. The nurse really really didn’t want me to give the new baby our pumped milk. I ended up sneaking it to her from a little cup. I had to sneak around to feed my baby.

Once again the hospital nurses (all lactation consultants) kept having me nurse and kept telling me it was okay if the baby didn’t get any milk in the first 24 hours.The thing is, I didn’t want to deprive her of milk. I wanted to start her off strong, with milk from both moms and I did.  To deny a newborn baby food and fluids is cruel and is child abuse.  

Continue reading →

As mothers, we always want the best for our babies and we worry what we do is never enough. 6 years ago, I had my first child when emergency C-section delivered her.  She was 8 pounds 12 ounces and healthy.  I was immediately told by my OB-Gyn to supplement her since she was such a large baby for 37 weeks.   The hospital had LCs and we requested to see her several times but she was a no show. We figured out fast we were on our own with breastfeeding, however we did take our OB-Gyn’s advice and started supplementing right at the start to maintain her glucose levels.  She never perfected her latch, so I exclusively pumped and she got everything she needed and we both liked our routine.

6 years later, I delivered my son early for pregnancy complications at 36 weeks but he was much smaller weighing 6 pounds 11 ounces. This time breastfeeding protocols were very different.  Formula was considered evil and no one could supplement their babies and exclusive breastfeeding was the only way to breastfeed my baby. However, after day one things gradually started going downhill.  My son latched very well and it was determined he was nursing perfectly. He nursed every one to two hours and we even had the second night “cluster” feedings we were informed about.

Little did I know, he was starving and not cluster-feeding and I had no idea!   But as you can see in this photo- he. was. starving!

Continue reading →