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When our son was born, he weighed 6 pounds 5 oz., and we had issues with him latching from the start. Part of the problem was I had flat nipples, so the nurse gave us a shield and showed me how to use it, and he seemed to do much better. He seemed to be a very content and alert baby. He lost almost 10 percent of his birth weight during our hospital stay, and we were discharged to see our pediatrician for a follow-up.
We continued to use the shield because he struggled to latch without it and were told to put it back on if he got frustrated trying to latch. I noticed that the shield would be full of milk when he finished. I also noticed that he wanted to eat for very long periods of time and didn’t seem ever to be settled during or after feeds.
My friends in Facebook mommy groups said this was pretty typical behavior and that he was just cluster feeding, so I continued to let him eat as often as he wanted, for as long as he wanted. I also never felt like my milk came in, at least not how my friends had described it. He didn’t get back up to his original weight by his 1-week visit, but the doctor didn’t seem overly concerned at that point because he had wet and dirty diapers.
At his 1 month appointment he only weighed 6 pounds 5.5 ounces. He had only gained ½ of an ounce and his pediatrician suggested I talk to the lactation consultant.
I went the next day to a group class, but the class was so large that I felt very overwhelmed and left early. I decided to attend the class offered at the hospital where he was born, where two of the nurses we met would be teaching the class. They had me first weigh him, feed him, and then weigh him again. When we weighed him after his hour-long feeding, the lactation consultant told me he had only eaten 20ml!
She suggested I start supplementing with formula and put me on a pumping schedule to try and increase my supply. We went home and immediately began the routine, and at the next week’s visit, he had gained nearly 2 pounds.
The nurse’s response was, “Wow! He must have been hungry.” He wasn’t just hungry, he was starving!
We continued the routine, and he continued to grow and thrive, but my supply didn’t seem to be increasing, and he still seemed so restless while nursing. The restlessness turned into full-on screaming after he nursed or drank a bottle of breast milk. I called his doctor, and she said it sounded like he had reflux. She prescribed Zantac and suggested that I cut dairy out of my diet. I met with my doctor for my 6-week postpartum checkup and told her about having to cut out dairy. She had experienced the same thing, so she sat down with me and went over things I could and couldn’t eat and what to look for on food labels. I also had a friend who did the same thing, so I followed her food plan, but he still would get so upset when he had any breast milk. After nearly a month of pumping every two hours, not eating, not sleeping, and trying to grieve the loss of my father, who had passed away two weeks before our son was born, I was an emotional mess.
My mom called me one day, and I was on the verge of a mental breakdown when she said, “he needs you to be healthy and sane far more than he needs breast milk.” At that moment, I felt a little bit of weight lift off my shoulders. I made an appointment to talk to his doctor about not breastfeeding. I had difficulty accepting it and worried that she might push me to keep breastfeeding.
Her beautiful response:
“You’ve tried harder than 99% of the moms I’ve worked with to make breast feeding work, and it’s totally OK if you stop and exclusively formula feed.”
I cried in my doctor’s office because that was the validation and permission I was looking for. I tried so hard to breastfeed my baby, but it was certainly not what was best for either of us. By his two-month appointment, he had more than doubled his weight, and at six months, he is back to being a happy, observant, content baby and so far meeting his milestones right on schedule.
Formula saved my baby’s life!
I have felt so guilty, and it took a tremendous amount of courage for me to write my story. At the same time, I am so thankful my baby is now thriving and feel it is extremely important for other moms to understand that if your baby is not gaining weight, it is critical to figure out why and not assume everything is normal, no matter what popular breastfeeding mom groups on Facebook might say!
Bottom line: I could have lost my baby and my own sanity. For me and my baby, #fedisbest
I will be forever grateful for finding the Fed Is Best Foundation, and I am now committed to working with their advocacy team to promote #SafeBreastfeeding.
My story one year later. What I learned.
I had countless moms—some that I knew personally, many I did not—send me messages thanking me for having the courage to share and for saying the things they were too ashamed to admit. I had a mother message me and tell me, “these were the words I so desperately needed to hear right now.” I had friends and family message me to say that their friend or family member from another state had shared our blog and how proud they were to tell them that they knew me. I had friends message me that they never truly believed that there were mothers who “couldn’t breastfeed” until they read my story.
I Shared My Story a Year Ago And I Was Told To Go Kill Myself – How I Am Healing
For more information on protecting your baby from feeding complications due to early exclusive breastfeeding, please read and download the Fed is Best Feeding Plan, a way to communicate your feeding choices to your health care providers.
In addition, please read and download the Fed is Best Weighing Protocol to prevent newborn dehydration and failure to thrive.
To learn how to supplement your baby:
How To Prepare For Supplementing When Breastfeeding Your Baby In The Hospital
Feeding Your Baby—When Supplementing Saves Breastfeeding and Saves Lives
.
Lastly, please watch our educational videos on Preventing Feeding Complications for more detailed information.
Our full list of parent resources can be found on our Resource Page.
HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT FED IS BEST
There are many ways you can support the mission of the Fed is Best Foundation. Please consider contributing in the following ways:
- Join the Fed is Best Volunteer group to help us reach Obstetric Health Providers to advocate for counseling of new mothers on the importance of safe infant feeding.
- Make a donation to the Fed is Best Foundation. We are using funds from donations to cover the cost of our website, our social media ads, and our printing and mailing costs to reach health providers and hospitals. We do not accept donations from breast- or formula-feeding companies, and 100% of your donations go toward these operational costs. All of the Foundation’s work is achieved via its supporters’ pro bono and volunteer work.
- Share the stories and the message of the Fed is Best Foundation through word-of-mouth, by posting on your social media page, and by sending our resources to expectant moms that you know. Share the Fed is Best campaign letter with everyone you know.
- Write a letter to your health providers and hospitals about the Fed is Best Foundation. Write them about feeding complications your child may have experienced.
- Print out our letter to obstetric providers and mail them to your local obstetricians, midwives, and family practitioners who provide obstetric care and hospitals.
- Write your local elected officials about what is happening to newborn babies in hospitals and ask for legal protection of newborn babies from underfeeding and the mother’s rights to honest, informed consent on the risks of insufficient feeding of breastfed babies.
- Send us your stories. Share with us your successes, your struggles, and everything in between. Every story saves another child from experiencing the same and teaches another mom how to feed her baby safely. Every voice contributes to change.
- Send us messages of support. We work daily to make infant feeding safe and supportive of every mother and child. Your messages of support keep us all going.
- Shop and Fed is Best Foundation will earn cash back! We hope to develop our online safe infant feeding classes with these funds.
- If you need support, we have a private support group– Join
We believe all babies deserve to be protected from hunger and thirst every single day of their life, and we believe that education on Safe Infant Feeding should be free. If you would like to donate to support the Fed is Best Foundation’s mission to teach every parent Safe Infant Feeding, please consider making a one-time or recurring donation to our organization.
Good for you!! I exclusively formula fed and I have zero regrets. Babies need full bellies, by any means necessary!
Good for you mama for trying so hard! My son had lots of issues gaining weight in the beginning also and couldn’t latch. Come to find out he had a tongue tie, lip tie and torticollis. After revisions, chiropractor and CST he finally learned to latch and his weight took off! My body took a beating too and I never produced more than 2 oz on a weighted feed so we ended up using a SNS full time. We ended up nursing 19 months. I wonder if you had your little guy checked for ties at all? There are many many health obstacles with ties that go far beyond not being able to latch. If you haven’t maybe have him checked!
Thank you for your story, it may help other new moms who are exhausted and overwhelmed. My concern is with the health care providers who didn’t identify his malnourishment earlier. You have a beautiful baby boy, trust yourself!
This sounds a lot like my story with my second child I’m currently pregnant with the third and very nervous about trying to breast-feed again. Thanks for sharing
Thank you!! I had a similar situation to yours- pumping, tube feeding, sore and bloody nipples, and a starving baby… when I finally lost it and screamed “I can’t do this anymore!!!” My husband looked at me and said “then don’t”. And that was it.. I was done.. we had amazing midwives that supported our decision – and once the decision was made, I all of a sudden had an appetite, my shoulders weren’t around my ears all the time from tension and I could finally just enjoy my baby instead worrying and dreading feedings… if I could have breastfed, I would have… but I couldn’t.. and my beautiful 13 and 7 year old girls are as happy and healthy as any breastfed one of their peers.. thank you for sharing your story…
After I had my first set of twins 10 weeks early, nursing was difficult due to their prematurity. I was struggling with pumping and trying to bottle feed the babies my breastmilk when I brought them home. The most amazing pediatrician who worked in my pediatricians office was the mother of triplets. She called me. She asked me if my mom nursed me or if I was formula fed. When I answered that I was formula fed, she said, “are you okay?” I asked her what did she mean. She asked me the question again. Guess what? I am more than okay!!! I stopped pumping that day and began to FEED my kids and STARTED to enjoy them. Amazing. I love that woman whose name I do not even know.
I could have written this myself, apart from the loss of your father, so sorry for his loss. What a difficult time that was. My daughter is 2 years old now and i still feel the guilt. My lactation consultant would come everyday! I get people asking me now..so will you bf the next one…like it was a choice of mine or something. It really wasnt a choice, i tried tirelessly to get her to latch..to.get my milk to come in more. I had an emergency c section which got infected after 2 weeks. I was in so much pain and had no idea that it wasn’t normal.
Thanks for sharing your story, you’re going to help many people release their guilt, especially those who tried and tried to their best.
Completely know where this woman is coming from. Found out no matter how much I wanted to breast fed with my 3 child there was just no way. I could only produce enough to breast fed him every 12 hours. Found out from my grandmother on my father’s side that women just don’t produce enough milk to fed our babies.
Gosh, so so similiar of a story here. Babe was born 9lbs 9oz and weighed on 8lbs 2oz at 3 weeks.. He thrived on formula and bm for almost 6 months.. mom guilt is strong and us mamas have to support each other better..thank you so much for sharing. ❤
God bless you for sharing this.. PS: for others seeing this if you are interested.. there are some really amazing all natural DIY organic raw cow’s milk or raw goat’s milk formula recipes out there.. We had to go that route with my 2nd child, and she did so great with that..
I went through the same thing with my new born now. She struggled to latch and I became highly frustrated and was losing hope in breast feeding until I decided to formula feed her. Best decision I made for her and myself. Thank you for sharing, it inspires me with your writing!
Thank you for stepping up and saying this. I have 4 children and I fought hard every time to feed them breast milk bc I thought maybe I had learned something different or my body knew how to do it ‘this time’. It was my downfall and I struggled so much during the first year of each of the babies lives because I stressed and fought for it. You are inundated with breast is best, it makes them healthier, smarter, happier; it bonds you, its easier and more cost effective. Well it almost destroyed me every time. I still get anxious thinking about it and dream that if we were to ever have another maybe I could be successful. No body was brave enough to tell me to quit trying no matter who I talked to. I wish there were people in the medical field and in mommy circles tell those who are fighting and not getting any results, that it is ok.
Thank you for putting this out there!!!! I completely do not feel alone!!!! This was me to a T!!!! I am so happy that I have been able to supplement and keep going now almost 4 months with some breast and some formula. Man it’s rough when it doesn’t come easy….. thank you.
Love this! So glad your Mom and doctor gave you that advice. I went through a hard time deciding to stop breast feeding my third little boy. My Mom told me the same thing. That our kids needed me to be sane and happy. If giving my baby formula made him happier and to where I felt comfortable leaving him. Then that’s what I needed to do! I had turned into a total recluse and that is not my personality at all. But I was so worried about leaving him. I just stayed home all the time. So for our family we switched.
Thank you so much for your blog post. I was crying as I read it. This is exactly what I was going through and it is so comforting to know that I am not alone with this issue of not being able to breast feed.
So beautiful and courageous of you to tell your story. Your heart is clearly full of love. Amazing sister.
Wow – you did great! You are a good mom and tried so hard to make breastfeeding work. You also were a good enough mom to know what was best for you and your baby and that is the most important thing! Great job! Congratulations on a beautiful baby boy and way to go on following your instincts! ??❤
This sounds all too familiar to me. My son has almost the exact same story. When I look back at his early pictures I almost cry to think about how hungry he must have been. With my second, there was a whole different set of challenges and I nursed her for an even shorter period than my son. I decided I wouldn’t starve a child again. I worked with the same lactation consultant both times and she told me similar advice that your doctor did, that I have tried harder than most people she has met, but nursing doesn’t work for everyone. Honestly, if we have a third I may not nurse at all. Nothing makes you feel like a terrible human being faster than not being able to provide the “motherly things” your children need. Thanks for sharing. So nice to know I’m not alone.
I feel like I could’ve written this myself. Thank you for sharing ❤️
My baby was also born in June 2016, and we had the some experience. I can hardly look at some of his pictures from the pre-formula times, he looks so thin I feel bad, I was trying so hard I was going to midwife and breastfeeding consultant 4 times a week in total, I medicated myself with domperidone, I was pumping regularly every 3 hours….. and the story could go on and on…so glad we introduced formula and continued mixed feeding until 5 months, he is now a happy and healthy baby and quite chubby I must say. Thanks for sharing, it is truly important I was refusing pictures with bottles on it, feeling guilty and ashamed of fórmula feedig.
I wanted to say Thank You for writing this and though we are strangers I wanted to offer my condolences for your loss. I can relate to you and your story almost completely. I almost lost my father 3 weeks before my daughter was born and spent almost everyday at the hospital with my dad and family the entire first month of her life while trying to breastfeed. I have been beating myself up for not being able to produce enough for her and for accidentally starving her, I didn’t find out until she was 3 weeks old. She was 6 lbs 14 oz when she was born for the first 3 weeks she was only 6 lbs and only breastfed (I went weekly to her doctor for weight checks and every week she weighed the same). The doctor finally had me supplement formula during the third week and she gained 2 pounds. So at 1 month she weighed 8 lbs. I was so relieved I burst into tears. I have been told by some that I didn’t try hard enough and that breast milk is best. I know I tried my best but felt like a failure. I still cry about it on a weekly basis. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not a failure and that as long as my baby is healthy and thriving that’s the important thing. My daughter is now 2 months old and weighs 10 pounds thanks to formula.
Your story is 100% mine! except i unintentionally starved my baby for 2 MONTHS!!! He was happy and meeting milestones and had wet and dirty nappies. I had no idea! I was just uneducated and blind to what was happening! Medication and Pumping schedules didn’t help me satisfy him, Formula was the best thing i did for my son, he is a happy healthy and chubby little man! Im very Pro BF but you have to do whats right for your child and yourself! Good work Mamma!!
Thank you for taking the time to share your story. I cried reading about your experience because It hit close to home. My daughter had a weak latch and I have the same nipple issue. And on top of that my husband and I had just moved 1,000 miles away from all our family and friends.
I felt like a failure as a mother, attended the not so helpful “support groups” at the hospital, drank copious amounts of that horrible tasting tea, and cried for days at a time. I was determined to breastfeed because, in my head, that was what was best for my child. I can’t even tell you how many people squeezed my boobs and watched me nurse/pump to make sure I was doing everything correctly.
Finally after multiple extra visits to my pediatrician it finally sunk in that I needed help. It was hard to accept that I couldn’t naturally feed my baby the way so many other women could. The realization that I was slowly starving my daughter was and still is painful to think about.
Fortunately for me my pediatrician was very supportive. I’ll never forget her telling me that she was impressed with how hard I was trying and that I didn’t have to give up nursing all together. “Some was better than none” she said. And ever since that day nursing became an enjoyable bonding experience and, guilt was no longer felt when our sessions were followed up with a big bottle of formula.
Four years later my son was born and I had to supplement with him as well. Luckily the thoughts of being less of a mother and a failure were not experienced the second time around ?
For any women out there please know that if you encounter issues with getting pregnant, staying pregnant, delivery, or nursing you are not alone and it does NOT make you less of a woman or a failure.
Fed is best! I went through a similar experience. Tried so hard for 2 months and there just was no supply. I felt like I was letting my baby down. Women should never feel shame like this. I beat myself up to no avail. Feed your baby the way you can!
Thank you for sharing. I have always believed fed is best, I continue to give both formula and BF with my second and no shame. I have happy and healthy kids and that’s all that matters. ?
My story is not very different from yours! I tried everything and nothing could get my “girls” to produce. I beat myself up mentally about it for a long time. Those “breast is best” people are very harsh and do not understand that it does NOT work for everyone!! I fought to nurse my daughter supplementing with formula for 8 months feeling inadequate and terrible the entire time. I wish I had had enough support to decide to go full formula earlier!
Thank you for sharing your story! I hope that many women experiencing the same battle will read your story and feel confident in their decision to use formula exclusively because it is right for them! Happy mommy = happy baby!!
Thank you, for having the courage, to tell your story, and the struggles and guilt you felt! This article, helped me to forgive myself, and realize I’m not alone.
Was your child ever checked for tongue and or lip ties? Reflux and poor milk transfer are almost always caused by ties. Many doctors these days don’t even have a clue what they are. Trained IBCLC and old fashioned home birth midwives know about them. They caught my one year olds tie after her pediatrician tried to say she was ftt for little weight gain. Had he diagnosed her tie, she would have gained more weight I’m sure of it. Though slim, she was not ftt after blood tests showed her nutrients to be fine. Thankfully with my third I was aware of ties and was able to get my son’s tie revised a few weeks after birth. The differemce post revision was night and day. No more reflex, better milk transfer, weight gain.
Yes fed is best, but there are many women being denied the opportunity to ebf by unknowledgeable doctors not diagnosing tongue and lip ties correctly.
I had the same issue! 30% birthweight drop in a week!!! Built my supply to 50% of what my bub was feeding and the other 50% formula. She just stopped breastfeeding finally at 2! So I totally get you!!! Well done on persevering!!!!!!
I had a very similar experience with my son 8years ago he lost over 15% of body weight. I hired a big milking machine and sat there all evening expressing to top up his milk he gained minimal so I combination fed. But he didn’t gain weight untill I stopped feeding.
My daughter is now 1year old and is still breast fed morning and night the difference between the two is incredible. My son was not feeding correctly and was dying I just didn’t realise I thought I was doing the best for him. It is the best thing I’ve ever done for My daughter but I wish I’d had better advice with my first. He thrived on formula.
Every baby is different my daughter refused formula and has only just started accepting some cows milk.
With my son I nearly lost my sanity, I thought i couldn’t breatfeed but my daughter shows I can but my son needed help xx
10 months on and I still feel the guilt of not breastfeeding for longer. I lasted 5 weeks before I realised I was just not pumping enough milk and feeding my little girl enough. I get jealous seeing other mothers succeed in breastfeeding. But I feel joy and relief when I hear stories of other mother mums who also switch to formula, not because I think it’s better than breastfeeding but because I don’t feel as pressured. I do sometimes feel the pressure from others that I gave up too quick and it makes me feel like a bad mum, but in my heart I know if I had carried on, she would have starved and I was breaking down so much that I would cry every day about 5 times a day and she could feel the stress. As soon as I went to formula and stopped forcing her onto a schedule we both relaxed and she started to settle. I don’t regret going onto formula I just wish we weren’t made to feel guilty about it or that we are not as strong as other mums who do breastfeed.
Thank you so much for sharing. A similar thing happened to my little guy and I. He was born 6 lbs, 7 oz. and within a week dropped down a whole lb. My milk just never came in. However, the lactation consultants I saw were not supportive and made me feel like a horrible mother when I finally realized he was starving and needed to be supplemented. I breastfed what I could and then topped him up with formula until he was 7 months. At first, I felt so guilty I would hide away with him to give him his formula. Finally, I got to a point where I was emotionally and physically drained and said enough was enough and switched him to full formula and solids at 7 months. I wouldn’t wish those feelings on another mother ever! I am currently Due in two weeks. I will try to breastfeed, but if it doesn’t work it doesn’t work. We will simply go straight to formula. Fed is best!!!
Wow. Did this story hit home. I went through the exact thing with my son. At one ooont I was told to sit with a dropper in one hand trying to squeeze breast milk into my sons mouth while using my finger in his mouth on my other hand to try to reteach him how to suck. (Advise from the lac consultant to teach him how to suck properly) and there I was sitting on the floor with a screaming baby, breast milk everywhere,and my finger in his mouth and I cried too. That was where my husband found us and when he said enough. He went and got a bottle and formula and gave it to him and said it’s more important he ate than to go through this. I cried and felt like a failure. On the other hand it was like a weight was lifted. Sometimes we need to understand that we aren’t perfect and not everything goes as planned. That doesn’t make us failures. Feeding our children and making good choices that benefit everyone is the true act of love.
Thank you thank you thank you.
So so much for sharing. To me you are the epitome of the title “Mom” because you sought out what was best for your child. You are definitely not alone and your story will surely inspire others to seek out what is best for their baby and situation.
I struggled to breastfeed with my first for 12 months and out bond and sanity suffered immensely. For my second everything clicked from day one! It was bizarre. Then at 6 months I had to make the decision to continue breastfeeding and suffer my mental health or wean and start to take medications for my own health. It was actually very liberating when I chose to wean after having success. Both are happy and healthy as well as myself now!
Cheers for mommy empowerment!
I was fortunate to be able to breastfeed all my babies, but just as there are millions of different people, there are millions of different ways to do things. You are a hero to that sweet baby of yours because you kept searching until you found what was best for him. I am proud of you. As I told each of my daughters when they became mom’s “You ask for advice, listen, and then do what your own heart tells you is best for YOU. Only you are living through the situation and it is OK to trust your intuition”.
I could have written this story. I had a very similar experience with the lack of latching, the shield, long feedings and wet and dirty diapers. At our 2 week appointment we were sent to the hospital because of such a loss in weight. Our daughter is now a wonderful and healthy 5 year old. It took me years to forgive myself. For me, it felt like I was a failure at motherhood. Thank you for writing this. I hope someone who needs this, sees this!
My heart goes out to you. I had similar issues (latching on/flat nipples/ that darn nipple shield). I was pumping regularly and nothing worked. And further, I’m sorry about your dad. I lost my mom 5 days after giving birth, which ultimately is why I think breastfeeding never worked for us. I cried every time I tried to whip that whole nipple shield setup out, and with the stress of my mom, I never successfully pumped more than 2ml at a time! Thankfully I had lactation nurses that recognized my baby’s nourishment and my sanity were worth far more than checking the box beside breastfeeding! So glad your baby is flourishing! (Mine is too ?)
He is beautiful and definitely is thriving! You are doing an amazing job. Thank you for sharing your experience with mothers everywhere. Fed is best!
Thanks for having the courage to share your story. Mine own story is very similar. #fedisbest
Your story is so close to what I experienced with my little one, it is eerie! You are one amazing momma and woman for sharing your experience with the world – I thought I was the only one! Glad to see your little guy is happy and healthy! And of course, that your sanity is intact! 🙂
Great article. I had a similar situation. It took me two months to realize my son needed formula. My milk was not fatty enough and all he did was eat. I got the same info as you, cluster feeding. After I started formula he grew by leaps and bounds. Thank you for your story.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I had a lot of difficulty breast feeding my son. He would have a full on latch, and with no warning whatsoever he would rip his head off of me. I was so sore from trying to nurse him while at the hospital. And while we were at the hospital, the nurses gave my son a pacifier, which then ruined his latch. I tried so hard to exclusively nurse him. Two weeks after having him, I got appendicitis and had to have my appendix removed. This caused my milk supply to dry up, and the formula samples we had recived in the mail my son could not keep down. I worked really really hard to get my supply back up, but by the time he was a month old our family doctor told me he was starving, and I sat there and cried. I felt so terrible and responsible for it all. My son was such an unhappy baby all the time and was constantly crying and here it was because he was so hungry. On my way home I picked up various brands of formula and found one that worked best for him. I stopped nursing and exclusively pumped and gave him what I could until I had my supply up enough that I was able to nurse him again. With him being fed from a bottle I was finally able to see what was wrong with his latch and was able to fix it so I could nurse him pain free. He is a very happy and healthy 16 month old now. Sometimes I feel like we are so pressured by other moms around us about exclusively nursing that we are made to feel like failures if we can’t or don’t. In the end, a healthy and satisfied baby is what is best.
This was interesting for me to read, but also so painful. I tired to breast feed my eldest child and basically did starve her. I knew that things weren’t going well, I could just feel it, my milk began to come in and my boobs were huge and rock solid and she wasn’t latching properly. At 5 days post partum she was weighed and we were told that she had lost nearly 19% of her birth weight. She was admitted to the hospital’s NICU because her sodium levels were so high due to dehydration. A part of me truly died that day. I couldn’t stop crying, I wasn’t treated with kindness, the peadiatrician asked me roughly why I was crying and basically told me to shut up (5 days post birth). we all lived at the hospital for 5 days, wheee my daughter was tube fed and kept in an incubator, while I was told to express every 3 hours Day and night. I was pressured to continue breast feeding after we were discharged and used nipple shields to help her latch on. I continued like this, feeling like a fraud who still wasn’t doing it properly, for 5 months. She gained weight but very gradually, and she was NEVER SETTLED until she started having formula at 5 months old. At the time I was also told to cut out dairy, tomatoes and other acidic fruits and veg because she cried all the time. I gained a lot of weight, was completely miserable and probably had a touch of depression. It’s 6 years later and I still cry when I talk about it or reflect on that time. I felt completely alone and like a failure, the worst start to motherhood I could ever have imagined. Thank you for giving me a forum to share my own story- I’m still clearly haunted by it.
Both my babies were formula fed. The first I had low production and he had reflux. So I’d pimp for hours and get 3 oz and he’d throw it up. Once I decided to stop the weight lifted. But I was prepared for that. My mother also had low production and I wasn’t thriving. I knew it was possible that I too would have low production. The pressure I received from the hospital to continue breast feeding created stress and disharmony. Once I made rhe decision of what was best for my baby and me the stress disappeared and I was able to bond with my.baby better. The second child wasn’t even a guess. I said I’d try again, but came armed with my.formula and there was no stress there. I wish there was an organization for me back then to reassure me that it’s ok not to breast feed.
Thanks so much for being courageous in sharing!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. More women need to hear this!! I’ve had my own struggles with my babies weening so much earlier than my friend’s babies. Mine finish at 10 months and all my friends seem to breast feed till 15-18 months. My goal was 12 months but didn’t happen with either so far. Even I felt like a failure switching my babies to formula @ 10 months. My husband was great. He spoke the words of freedom I needed to hear. FED IS BEST!
This is an amazing story! Thank you for sharing. As a mom myself I totally get where you’re coming from. We need more women speaking up about how we need to come together and support each other, rather than shaming each other for our decisions. We make our decisions for our children based on what we think is best. Sometimes that looks different than what someone else would do. All babies and adults are different. My son was lucky enough to be able to nurse and we had our own problems too in the beginning and even though I didn’t have the same exact story I still got shamed for my son not gaining his birth weight 2 days after our Doctors App. (Seriously he was born 7,9 left the hospital at 7,2 and at the doctors app 2 days later was shamed because he was 7,5…) we also had a latch problem. I was fed formula as a baby and I turned out more than fine! My mom had to too. Your son is beautiful! Rest your heart in knowing you’ve done amazingly! Being a mom isn’t easy but it’s beautiful.
You’re an amazing mom! And you’re doing an amazing job. You made the right choice. I would have done the same thing. #hatersgoingtohate
I cried when I read your story – my beautiful daughter experienced the same as you with our amazing grand daughter – We tried so hard to convince her that Imogen needed formula as my daughters milk was not satisfying her- she had a huge piece of the placenta still left inside of her from the GP – consequently she had poison go through her body and needed a D & C – thankfully she disposed of the GP – and still the midwives made her persist with breastfeeding – sadly she became manic without sleep and no support from her husband – she ended up being admitted to a mother & baby unit where they placed my grand daughter on formula and nursed my beautiful daughter back to her wonderful self.
I am so very pleased that I read your story and thank you for sharing it – I will show her tomorrow
May God Bless You
Sincerely
Christine McNamara ???
Both of my kids were on formula only. Never breast fed once. Circumstances made it impossible. I don’t feel guilty about it at all. My kids are healthy and happy! We are just as close as anyone I know who breast fed! Good job momma! People need to mind their own business!
I had the same exact thing happen to me. You learn what is best for you and your baby :).