Category: Stories from Clinicians

My Baby Scream-Cried The Entire Second Night In The Hospital

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My name is Amber, and I am the mother of a charming, beautiful, and vivacious baby boy. I want to share with you a story: the story of my son’s birth and his first few months earthside. It is a multidimensional story full of love and heartbreak, but I think it’s important that other new mothers hear it. I hope they will know they are not alone if their early motherhood experiences are not what they always dreamed of.

I was working in an emergency room as a nurse and heading into my second-to-last semester of school to become a nurse practitioner. My husband and I had only been trying to conceive for a month. Because I have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and irregular periods, I figured getting pregnant would take longer, but there I was on September 1 with a positive test. We were ecstatic. As a planner, I spent most of the next nine months thinking about and planning everything about my son’s birth. I consider myself a well-educated woman and medical professional, so it was no surprise that the heart of my plans included breastfeeding my son. I spent months researching the best pumps for when I had to return to work, deciding on a storage-and-feeding set, and learning about ways to strengthen the breastfeeding bond. Formula feeding never crossed my mind. After all, I was always told breast was best. Sure, I had some friends who gave some formula here or there, but I just knew I would be one of the ones who would exclusively breastfeed and pump for my son. Continue reading →

Gender Equity, Co-Parenting and Infant Feeding Choices

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Jessica Pratezina, MA, is a Ph.D. student in Interdisciplinary Studies (Child and Youth Care; Sociology) at the University of Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. Her doctoral research studies gender equality, father involvement, and early family formation.

Research shows that a father’s positive involvement significantly impacts every domain of their child’s development. Less attention has been paid to how a father’s involvement can improve a mother’s health, well-being, and especially relationship satisfaction. Not every happy, healthy family wants or needs a dad (like lesbian couples or single mums). But when a father is an expected part of family life, they can make a world of difference not only to his children but to his partner. In particular, when couples share childcare and household responsibilities equitably, the benefits to a mum can be significant.

Yet, gender equality isn’t one of the topics parents are encouraged to discuss during their parenting transition. In between learning how to clip those impossibly tiny newborn fingernails and piecing together cribs that seem to require an engineering degree to assemble, talking about how to keep childcare and housework tasks fair and equal isn’t something most couples are supported to do.   

 Gender equality is also not usually discussed as a factor influencing parents’ feeding choices. When I worked as an infant development specialist, I was taught to ask all sorts of questions about a mother’s feeding plans. The intention was to guide (or possibly guilt) the mum into choosing exclusive breastfeeding. 

I was never taught to ask a mum how she wanted to involve the baby’s dad in feeding and how the different feeding options might support or hinder an equal sharing of the baby’s care.

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A Nurse Speaks Out About The Emotional Distress Parents Endure From Mandated Exclusive Breastfeeding Policies

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“The sight and sound of babies crying out for food and fluids are why I decided to speak out. Babies are denied food and fluids to promote exclusive breastfeeding.”

As a mother-baby nurse, I’ve seen many preventable episodes of emotional distress for families in my thirty-year career. Unfortunately, The emotional distress increased significantly when the Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative was implemented at my hospital. Some episodes of emotional distress are unforgettable, so I felt compelled to speak out about them, hoping to bring about the much-needed change to protect newborns from hunger and maternal mental health.

Mothers are incredibly vulnerable after giving birth, as their bodies transition physically and hormonally. They have a new life to take care of while recovering from birth and require compassionate, respectful, and individualized care. However, the Baby-Friendly breastfeeding protocol is one-size-fits-all and does not allow individualized care. Mothers must follow the BFHI protocol regardless of how they feed their baby or how complicated their birth was. We know as health care professionals that no protocol can be safe and effective without individualized care.

 Evidence based medicine cannot replace clinical judgment or account sufficiently for the complexity of individual cases. The limitations of EBM must be acknowledged and addressed so that it can be used effectively and without compromising patient care. -Mark R. Tonelli, MD, MA

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Listen to Fed is Best Co-Founder Talk About Her Son’s Breastfeeding Complications

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Come tune in and listen to a podcast where Fed is Best Co-Founder, Christie del Castillo-Hegyi talks with Hayley Zimak of “Growing Up: Baby” about her breastfeeding story, the birth of the #FedisBest movement, and what needs to change in parent-infant feeding education to ensure the safety of every child.

Listen to Cofounder's Story

Nurses Quit Because Of Horrific Experiences Working In Baby-Friendly Hospitals

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Photo Credit: Victorian Agency for Health Information

We regularly receive messages from nurses, physicians, LCs, and other health professionals. They express their concerns while asking for help and patient resources. They tell us their stories and they need support and direction on what to do about unethical and dangerous policies they are forced to practice. We collected their stories and are beginning a blog series of health professionals who are now speaking out about the Baby-Friendly Health Initiative and the WHO Ten Steps of Breastfeeding.

Dianna Talter, Pediatric Emergency Department Nurse

I am a pediatric emergency department nurse traveler and sometimes, I worked on the mother-baby unit. I will never work on a mother-baby unit again because of the terrible conditions that mothers and babies are forced to endure because of the “Baby-Friendly” (BFHI) protocol!

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