by Jillian Johnson with commentary from Dr. Christie del Castillo-Hegyi
Landon would be five today if he were still alive. It’s a very hard birthday–five. It’s a milestone birthday. Most kiddos would be starting kindergarten at this age. But not my little guy. I wanted to share for a long time about what happened to Landon, but I always feared what others would say and how I’d be judged. But I want people to know how much deeper the pain gets.
I share his story in hopes that no other family ever experiences the loss that we have.
Jarrod and I wanted what was best for Landon, as every parent does for their child. We took all of the classes. Bought and read all of the books. We were ready! Or so we thought….every class and book was geared toward breastfeeding and how it’s so important if you want a healthy child. Landon was born in a “Baby-Friendly” hospital. (What this means is everything is geared toward breastfeeding. Unless you’d had a breast augmentation or cancer or some serious medical reason as to why you couldn’t breastfeed, your baby would not be given formula unless the pediatrician wrote a prescription.)
Sleeping comfortably a few hours after birth
Landon was born full-term weighing 3360 g or 7 lbs. 7 oz, born by urgent cesarean due to fetal intolerance to labor after the water had broken. [Previous publication of this blog said he had an emergency c-section. He was delivered by low transverse incision over 12-14 minutes, which is considered an urgent, not a STAT section.] Apgars were 8 and 9 and he was stabilized. He was transferred 2.5 hours later to the Mother-Baby Unit and returned to his mother. He exclusively breastfed with excellent latch for 15 – 40 minutes every 1-2 hours.
Landon, is 12 hours old.
Landon was on my breast —ALL OF THE TIME. The lactation consultants would come in and see that “he had a great latch and was doing fine,” but there was one who mentioned I may have a problem producing milk. The reason she gave was that I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), and it was just harder for women with hormone imbalances to produce milk. She recommended some herbs to take when I got out of the hospital.
While in the hospital, his mother’s risk factors for failed and delayed lactogenesis II (copious milk production) were identified by the IBCLC-lactation consultant. They were borderline diabetes, PCOS, issues with infertility, small, widely spaced breasts with minimal growth during pregnancy, being a first-time mom, and emergency c-section. Despite that, she was encouraged to exclusively breastfeed. She was closely monitored by a nurse, lactation consultant, and physician support. Her baby’s latch was rated as excellent.
By the first 24 hours, he had nursed a total of 9.3 hours, had zero wet diapers and four dirty diapers. By 27 hours, he had lost 4.76%. His nursing sessions became longer and longer until he was on the breast continuously by the second day of life. On the second day, he produced 3 wet diapers and 6 dirty diapers and nursed for almost 14 hours total. By 53 hours of life, he had lost 9.72%.
At this time, the scientific literature on wet and dirty diaper production has shown that the number of diapers produced have no correlation with adequacy of milk intake in the first 4 days of life. The only study on diaper counts has shown that even newborns who lose excessive weight can produce up to 6 wet and dirty diapers a day. In addition, at this time, the Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative has produced no data on the safety of newborn fasting and weight loss caused by exclusive colostrum feeding and what degree of weight loss protects a child from brain-threatening complications like hyperbilirubinemia, hypernatremic dehydration, and hypoglycemia. So far, the scientific literature shows that babies who lose greater than 7% of their birth weight are at the highest risk of developing excessive jaundice and hypernatremia to levels that can cause long-term developmental disability. It has also been found that 10% of healthy, term, exclusively breastfed babies undergoing the Baby-Friendly protocol experience hypoglycemia to levels that are associated with 50% declines in the ability to pass the literacy and math proficiency test at 10 years of age, even if aggressively corrected.
Constant, unsatisfied nursing and inconsolable crying are two of the signs of newborn starvation that lead to brain-threatening complications. If a child is receiving a fraction of their caloric requirement through early exclusive breastfeeding, they can experience severe hunger and thirst, which is why they will cry inconsolably and breastfeed continuously when it is the only source of calories and fluid they are offered. If a mother’s colostrum does not meet the child’s caloric requirement, they will breastfeed for hours a day in an attempt to relieve their hunger. A child who is “cluster-feeding” may actually burn more calories breastfeeding than they receive in return, which can result in fasting conditions and accelerated weight loss. The constant nursing and crying often found in newborns by the second day of life have been called“The Second Night Syndrome” in the breastfeeding industry. This is also whenmothers receive the most pressure to avoid supplementation in order to increase rates of exclusive breastfeeding at discharge. Babies who reach critically low levels of reserve fuel and fluids before their mother’s milk comes in can be found lethargic with compromised vital signs after hours of constant nursing and fussing, at which time they are often diagnosed with hypoglycemia, excessive weight loss, and/or hyperbilirubinemia, all markers of starvation.
Did you know that newborns aren’t supposed to cry all of the time? They’re supposed to eat and sleep and dirty their diapers. I had no idea he was inconsolable because he was literally starving. And when a baby is only on the breast, how do we gauge how much they’re actually getting out? Sure, there should be wet and soiled diapers and weight checks, right? And where is the limit as to weight loss and a minimum for the diapers changed?
Being discharged with visible weight loss.
Landon was discharged at 64 hours (2.5 days) of life having lost 9.7% of his birth weight continuously and exclusively breastfeeding with a mother whose milk had not come in. These are routine and unremarkable findings in newborn babies discharged home to exclusively breastfeed. At this time, there are no studies using standardized developmental testing or serum markers of starvation that show that allowing babies to lose up to 10% of their birth weight protects them from brain- and life-threatening complications, despite wide-spread perception that it is normal for exclusively breastfed babies to lose. Therefore, Landon’s mother was given no instruction to supplement. He was discharged with next-day follow-up.
So we took him home….not knowing that after less than 12 hours home with us, he would have gone into cardiac arrest caused by dehydration from unintended starvation because I was the mother who had no colostrum for my baby. The best advice I was given by one of his NICU doctors while he was on life support is that the breast is best, but follow with the bottle if they are still hungry.
This way you know your baby has eaten enough….if only I could go back in time.
Landon continued to breastfeed at home continuously and was found unresponsive, pulseless, and blue after eventually falling asleep from cluster feeding. His parents called 911. Per EMS, he was asystolic (no heart rate), and he received CPR en route to the local ER. By the time they arrived at the ER, he was found to have pulseless electrical activity (heart rate with no blood pressure). There, he was intubated and received several rounds of epinephrine. He was hypothermic with a temperature of 93.1 F. After 30 minutes of CPR, no cardiac activity was found on ultrasound. With parental consent, CPR was stopped, and he was left on the ventilator while continuing to receive IV saline. Twenty minutes later, with IV fluids, he regained his pulse. He was transferred to a Level III NICU to get the head cooling protocol for babies that experience a brain injury. He was diagnosed with hypernatremic dehydration and cardiac arrest from hypovolemic shock.
Landon is in the NICU on full life support.
I still have many, many days of guilt and questions – what if I had just given him a bottle? And anger because how would I have known? I trusted my healthcare professionals to protect my baby from harm. I remember when Stella, my daughter was born, and she was always quiet. I kept asking the nurses what was wrong with her. They said nothing. She’s doing what she’s supposed to. Sleeping and eating. And it was then that I realized that it wasn’t normal for a newborn to cry as much as Landon did. He was just crying out from his hunger. But I didn’t know. I should’ve known. I still struggle daily, feeling as though I failed him.
Landon received a brain MRI in the hospital which confirmed brain injury consistent with hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy or brain injury from oxygen deprivation due to low blood pressure from dehydration and cardiac arrest. He was diagnosed with diffuse seizure activity on EEG, the consequence of severe, wide-spread brain injury. Given his poor prognosis, he was taken off life support 15 days later. The autopsy report deemed the causes of death were hypernatremic dehydration followed by cardiac arrest causing hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy (diffuse brain injury).
Jill held Landon as he took his last breaths.
That little boy gave me ten of the most incredible life-changing months. I’ve been humbled. Challenged. My relationships have fallen apart. Some have come back together. I’ve learned forgiveness. And the true meaning of “life is short.” I love hard – to a fault. But I couldn’t live with myself knowing his death was in vain. I’ve learned so many lessons. I’ve learned the true meaning of compassion and unconditional love.
— Jillian Johnson
To Learn More About Ensuring SAfe and ADequate Feeding While Breastfeeding Your Newborn
Order the Fed Is Best book at all major retailers or by clicking on the button below. With it comes the Fed Is Best Book Resource Page, a free online guide to safe and adequate breastfeeding.
The Fed is Best Foundation is dedicated to the prevention of newborn and infant starvation from insufficient exclusive breastfeeding. We do so by studying breastfeeding stories sent by mothers and the scientific literature on breastfeeding complications that lead to infant brain injury and death. Since the beginning of our campaign almost two years ago, we have received tens of thousands of newborn and infant starvation stories leading to the complications of hyperbilirubinemia, dehydration, hypernatremia, hypoglycemia, and failure to thrive. These complications occur because the current breastfeeding guidelines have not been studied for safety and operate with little awareness of the caloric and fluid requirements of newborns nor the amount transferred to babies until complications have already occurred. “Just one bottle” can save a child from these tragedies as it is often a mother’s first clue that a child is, in fact, starving from exclusive breastfeeding.
If your baby is experiencing distress and signs and symptoms of starvation, we encourage you to advocate for your child. We encourage mothers to notify hospital administrators if they are pressured to avoid supplementation to alleviate their child’s hunger. You have the right to feed your child, and your child has the right to be fed. No one but your baby knows how close they are to empty. The only way they can communicate distress is by crying. Listen to your baby and listen to your instincts.
Our message is simple. Feed your baby. Feed them as much as they need to stay safe and satisfied.
How to supplement your baby until your milk comes in:
How To Prepare For Supplementing When Breastfeeding Your Baby In The Hospital
Jillian Johnson: My Message To Parents During World Breastfeeding Week-Just One Bottle
http://fedisbest.org/2022/01/nigerian-mother-speaks-out-about-her-babys-death-after-being-told-to-keep-exclusively-breastfeeding-what-she-wants-human-rights-organizations-to-know/
My Baby Suffered And Almost Died–Why Are The Risks Of Exclusive Breastfeeding Not Taught To Mothers?
Just One Bottle Would Have Prevented My Baby’s Permanent Brain Damage from Hypoglycemia
Feeding Your Baby—When Supplementing Saves Breastfeeding and Saves Lives
U.S. Study Shows Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative Does Not Work
NICU Nurse Discloses Newborn Admission Rates From Breastfeeding Complications in BFHI Unit
Nurses Are Speaking Out About The Dangers Of The Baby-Friendly Health Initiative
http://fedisbest.org/2018/11/neonatal-nurse-practitioner-speaks-out-about-the-dangerous-and-deadly-practices-of-the-bfhi/
Hospital Drops Baby Friendly Program After Doctors Baby Was Harmed
Letter to Doctors and Parents About the Dangers of Insufficient Exclusive Breastfeeding
Two Physicians Describe How Their Baby-Friendly Hospital Put Their Newborn in Danger
Fed is Best Statement to the USDA Regarding the Harms of the Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative
Nurses Quit Because Of Horrific Experiences Working In Baby-Friendly Hospitals
Nurses Are Speaking Out About The Dangers Of The Baby-Friendly Health Initiative
“Is Baby-Friendly Safe?”: BFHI Safety Issues Discussed at National Neonatology Conference
CONTACT US/VOLUNTEER
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Our mission statement is:
The Fed Is Best Foundation works to identify critical gaps in the current breastfeeding protocols, guidelines, and education programs and provides families and health professionals with the most up-to-date scientific research, education, and resources to practice safe infant feeding, with breast milk, formula or a combination of both.
Above all, we strive to eliminate infant feeding shaming and eliminate preventable hospitalizations for insufficient feeding complications while prioritizing perinatal mental health.
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- Sign our petition! Help us reach our policymakers, and drive change at a global level. Help us stand up for the lives of millions of infants who deserve a fighting chance. Sign the Fed is Best Petition at Change.org today, and share it with others.
- Share the stories and the message of the Fed is Best Foundation through word-of-mouth, by posting on your social media page and by sending our FREE infant feeding educational resources to expectant moms that you know. Share the Fed is Best campaign letter with everyone you know.
- Write a letter to your health providers and hospitals about the Fed is Best Foundation. Write to them about feeding complications your child may have experienced.
- Print out our letter to obstetric providers and mail them to your local obstetricians, midwives, family practitioners who provide obstetric care and hospitals.
- Write your local elected officials about what is happening to newborn babies in hospitals and ask for the legal protection of newborn babies from underfeeding and of mother’s rights to honest informed consent on the risks of insufficient feeding of breastfed babies.
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For any urgent messages or questions about infant feeding, please do not leave a message on this page as it will not get to us immediately. Instead, please email christie@fedisbest.org.
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Parents tell us they were not taught how to supplement their babies safely, if necessary to prevent exclusive breastfeeding complications.
For more information on how to protect your baby from feeding complications due to early exclusive breastfeeding, please read and download the Fed is Best Feeding Plan, a way to communicate your feeding choices to your health care providers.
In addition, please read and download the Fed is Best Weighing Protocol to prevent newborn dehydration and failure to thrive.
Lastly, for more detailed information, please watch our educational videos on Preventing Feeding Complications.
Our full list of parent resources can be found on our Resource Page.
If you wish to help parents learn how to protect their newborns from accidental starvation, please share this story and sign our petition to demand that the CDC, the AAP, the U.S. Surgeon General and the WHO/UNICEF Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative warn parents about the dangers of newborn and infant starvation from insufficient exclusive breastfeeding. Go to http://fedisbest.org/sign-our-petition/.
Please consider making a donation to the Fed is Best Foundation to support its mission of providing safe infant feeding education and support and raise awareness on the harms of insufficient infant feeding.
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I am so sorry for your loss. Sharing your story must be so heart breaking, reliving this time, but hopefully your story can help others. My heart goes out to your family and your sweet Landon. Thank you for your strength and selflessness.
I am so sorry for your loss and truly admire you for coming forth with your story. My daughter had all of the same symptoms as your son, kept losing body weight. She cried non-stop and I finally broke down and gave her bottles. It turned out she had to have soy as her stomach couldn’t handle dairy. Then 10 months later I almost lost my daughter due to chronic ear infections and having her on a prolonged dosage of infant Tylenol. My daughter suffered from Tylenol poisoning and I had no idea what was happening to her. We almost lost her and the guilt I felt was awful but like you I wanted parents to know the dangers of something unforeseen and never discussed. By the way over 200,000 people a year overdose on TYLENOL, please parents take caution when giving to your children. God Bless you for being brave enough to warn others of what you experienced.
Hi, thanks for sharing your story. You are really brave. Lots of love n hugs to you. Your story left me teary eyed. When my first baby was born in 2010, I really had no idea about these things, though I had attended classes, read books n browsed through the internet like a maniac. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism during pregnancy.
My new born would constantly cry, she would not leave my Brest for a moment. She was losing her birth weight. Mine was an emergency c-section too, so I was fighting with my physical pain as well. To be honest sometimes I did feel she is hungry but Brest feeding is so glorified that I did not think of an alternative. I took her to peadtrics and they said shez fine.
Her activities went down, she slowly stopped responding, stopped crying, her lips turned red, got cracked and started bleeding. Her body started turning blue. I did offer her a bottle then , but she had passed the stage of accepting any feed. She was just breathing. No responses at all, even if I slapped or pinched her. My husband was away and I panicked.
I quickly rushed her to a hospital and IV was immediately started. After two days and hundreds of tests doctors had lost hope on her. By that time my husband was also back and we shifted her to the best hospital in a bigger city.
It was really difficult to see my little angel pricked at so many places. Her limbs were tied and she was constantly under surveillance. She was in NICU and fought bravely for 15 long days. Finally, on Christmas, she came in my arms shining like a star. That was the best Christmas ever. She still was fragile and needed a lot of care. From then on I just trusted my instincts and nothing else.
When my second child was born in 2014 , I realised she was keeping hungry too. This time I did not allow the fear of being judged win over my motherly instincts. I gave her a bottle right away. Thanks to the almighty that both my angels are doing good and are happy and healthy today.
Your story gives strength to all of us to share our own stories. Hope we don’t lose any more life’s to lack of feed. Prayers for Landon
Thank you so much for sharing. Would you like us to post your story on our foundation blog?
Sure. I didn’t say the whole story. But yes. Please feel free to share.
Oh My Dear Mummy, I am so devastated for your loss. What a beautiful boy. Love and Prayers go out to you and your family and thankyou for sharing your story I the hope that it will help other new mums. What a blessing you are giving to others and I am so sad that the healthcare system completely failed you and your boy Landon, he shouldn’t of left us so soon xxx
Hi, thank you for sharing your story and personally I know how important/helpful this to new moms. As a first time mom in 2012 I had an emergency c-section as well. I didn’t know anything about babies or feeding. Only things I knew were natural birth and breast feeding are the best things you can do to your new baby. I have believed this and went for a natural birth without epidural and ended up with a C-section as a result of nurses/midwives not listening to me when I say the baby is not moving like he used to.
I was lucky the dr I had next morning sent me to c-sec within minutes and they saved the baby.
However afterwards the communication between nurses and my family/me was not that much informative. I was in and out from morphing for the pain and after over 10 hours I got the chance to see my baby. He was hungry and tried to latch. He was crying and trying. That will be the first picture in my mind when I thought about him.
Lachting wasn’t working well and nurse went back with him. After maybe another hour or two she came back to ask whether it’s ok to give him a bottle, I was kind of surprised they didn’t asked me that before.
My baby was literally hungry and crying and waking up all other babies. So after feeding him they gave the baby to me, I was in the bed still, cannot move and my partner wasn’t allowed to stay with me after 10pm. So my poor baby crying non stop and I couldn’t latch him coz he and I both were struggling. I was crying and asked them to remove my tubes so I can hold him and feed him somehow.
It didn’t go well then next day Morning my mom insist me to give him a bottle. I listened to her however I was annoyed with her. She said ‘you don’t have enough milk that’s why the baby is crying’. That was really hurting because it felt like I am a bad mother. This is the picture the society painted on mothers. If you can’t breastfeed you are as a mother failed. It’s is good to encourage mothers to breastfeed as some mothers chose the bottle/formula for convenient reasons. However there are mothers like me who tried hard unfortunately for some reason that is beyond us. So it’s really important to educate new mothers about both side of the story with warning signs of the baby who is not properly fed.
Back to my story, so end of the 2nd day still struggling and he was crying. I requested a small bottle to stop him straving while still trying the breast. Without help from the partner I have decided to go home in the next morning. He lost 300gms so far and not gaining a bit. At home 3rd day his skin got dried and red patches were everywhere. My husband thought its because I was turning off the A/C so he felt hot. So he was trying A/c on. Now I know he was dehydrated at that time. His beautiful skin was cracked and peeling off with very angry red marks.
Luckily I was listing to my mom and started the bottle at home too. Still more the breastfeeding part than the bottle. After nurse’s 2nd home visit she mentioned about 0 weight gain. So the bottle kept him alive and as soon as I realised this I went crazy and brought a electric pump home.
I will never ever forget that 3months in my life. I was pumping and feeding. After every feed I will go to the sofa and start pumping, I was not ready to be a failure. That was my life until he got some fat on him. He was globbling them down like my milk was nothing. He was that much hungry.
I have some pictures of him in his first month and I feel so guilty every time I look at them. He is a beautiful boy, after my non-stop pumping and feeding he turned from a caterpillar to a butterfly. It’s true he was skinny and his skin was so dry before that. Then slowly I accepted the truth, he simply never was good at latching. He wasn’t strong enough in the beginning then later he was lazy. He loves breastfeeding as a comfy thing not as a foods. So I went full formula except his night feed. So he has enough to fill his tummy. I had much sleep and peace after that acceptance.
My daughter who born 20+month apart was a champion from the first day thanks to her brother. She was strong too, so she fully breastfed until she turned 1 year. She wasn’t crying like my son. while I was doing the right things with her I felt so guilty about what happened with my son.
I realised now how much I was closer to fully starving him. And to this day if he cry I feel panic. I don’t like him crying because that brings the memories back. I have to thanks my mom too, if she wasn’t the person who she was she would never tell me about the milk supply. And the other day I was reading -Ve result in formula fed babies and thought how many babies are alive thanks to formulas? Including my own son. There could be side effect on the way, I would take that risk than starving a baby, so educating new moms is very important. Not just one side of the story we need both sides of the story. Tell them not to feel bad about choosing that option if the nature is not so supportive at first.
How tragic, and something that could have so easily been prevented. You are not to blame, you were let down by medical professionals. I’m a NICU nurse and we too have difficulties and conflicts with ‘baby friendly’ practitioners, not because we don’t think breast is best, but because it’s not the only option and a baby’s overall health needs to be considered. if that means they need a few bottles of formula now and again so be it. I am so sorry you, Landon and family had to go through this. Poor baby, he was just hungry. YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME. X
Thank You so much for sharing, when I had my first baby I felt extremely pressured to breast feed, unfortunately I could not produce enough milk to sustain her. I remember spending 2 hours with a breast pump and producing less than a thimble size amount of milk. This was my first warning sign that all was not fine. Normally I lack common sense, but luckily on this occasion
I managed to heed the warning signs and started her on formula right away. We need to stop the guilt trips about breastfeeding sometimes breast is not always best ;-(
I am nearly 61 years old and your story is haunting to me. In Dec of 1979 I gave birth to a beautiful 9 lb 5 oz baby girl. It was also the time of the LaLeche (sp?) League which was a huge proponent of breast feeding. I was 23 years old. I had a C section also and in the 5 days I was in the hospital afterwards I attempted to nurse my baby. It wasn’t successful. The nurses said my daughter was a tongue thruster. they put preemie nipples on me to try to get Jennifer to latch on. I went home, I would sit up all night and try to nurse my baby. She never cried though. She barely squeaked. She had one wet diaper in a day. I went to the pediatrician. They said keep trying. I know now my mother in law was worried, she nver said a word I guess afraid she would upset me. Finally my mom was able to come and see her first grandchild and she took one look at my baby and said this is not a 9lb baby give her a bottle. We took my daughter back to the Doctor for the 4th time and she weighed 6.lb 4 oz.
I am so very sorry of your loss. A loss that many contributed to and none that was your fault. I did begin feeding wtih a bottle. It was then I was told that I never produced milk at all. I am reading the disclaimer below as well and I find that it is appalling. Young new mothers do not have the experiences and when you hear from those who do and are supposedly the experts they need to step up and say look you gave it a couple days and its apparent you aren’t producing. Supplement with formula. Just remember you are not alone in this story, some have better endings but the big thing is it is not your fault……..I am expecting my first grandchild in July and this brings my whole first experience back ten fold. I am so sorry for your loss.
I too had issues with milk production but after numerous consultations with breast health nurses and repeated concerning questions to the nurses at the hospital I was told to “just keep trying”. I could tell that my daughter was hungry and she was losing weight. But unfortunately all help available to me was pretty much telling me I was a failure if I didn’t choose to continue trying to breastfeed. It got to the point where my daughter was upset and crying all the time and I started to get severe issues with my breasts. I finally broke down and purchased formula after a few weeks of being chained to the house, pumping for 10-12 hours a day just to produce a few ounces. I felt terrible about having to buy formula, as the nurses had warned that this was a terrible choice for my baby. But you’ll never guess what happened – she greedily downed a bottle and was satiated. She never went hungry from that day on and she is now 6 years old, no allergies and the picture of health. I tell ANY expectant mom in my life to NOT LISTEN TO THE NURSES and just do what it right for them and their baby. Buy some formula ahead of time just in case. Hopefully you won’t need it but it’s there in case you do. And don’t feel like you’ve failed as a mom or a woman. Fed certainly IS best. More women need to hear the other side too. Not everyone has a flawless time with milk production/breastfeeding.
Jillian and everyone who posted, thank you so much for sharing your experiences. You are helping so many other parents and newborns. You were let down by the magical thinking of the so-called “baby friendly” hospital staff. Their thinking is clouded by the “natural fallacy” — a belief that natural is always better, and that human behavior is not natural. Nature alone provides ample causes of death, but it’s human nature to make and use technology to improve our chances of survival. Even “baby-friendly” hospitals are loaded with technology, so why do they draw the line at a simple baby bottle?
I thought this was an open forum for people to discuss and share ideas. I’ve worked in a nicu for over 20 years at a hospital that went “baby friendly.” The breast is best campaign was adopted by the hospital and policies were put into place that nurses were required to follow. Even though nicu was supposedly exempt, I saw many of the sickest, premature infants put to mom’s breast to promote bonding and milk supply. These were babies on oxygen, with central lines and feeding tubes, babies that could barely suck a pacifier were put to mom’s breast. Some of these babies were compromised as a result. The campaign had been adopted but there weren’t enough certified lactation consultants to safely implement it. The breast milk nazis have taken their agenda too far. I’m so sorry for this senseless, tragic and preventable loss.
I went through something similar. I also have pcos and my son was always hungry and keptlosing weight. I finally broke down and gave him a bottle. My mom couldnt breast feed either so luckily i knew there was a chance i might not be able to either. Noone told me pcos caused breast feeding issues and the lactation consultant was pushy AF and would guilt me for giving him a bottle. Yes breast IS best.. But a healthy LIVING child is BETTER
I’m really sorry to hear such a sad story.
I empathize with the parents. Their story brings memories from my own experience 17 years ago, however we were lucky enough that our OG came on time to save us from the so called “lactose consultant advice”.
Please join me (and spread to others) to prevent other families to have similar experience.
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/stop-baby-starvation
This story breaks my heart. I have a nearly 6 yr old daughter (my only child) and I wanted so badly to breastfeed her. I had a c-section after 25 hrs of labor when her heartbeat plummeted from and I wouldn’t even take medicine stronger than advil or tylenol for the pain because i was so set on breastfeeding her and didn’t want her exposed to the strong pain meds. I had very large breasts and she would not latch. The entire 48 hours we were in the hospital following her birth, she had nothing to eat. They wouldn’t let me give her a bottle because I wanted to breastfeed her and they said it would confuse her. They assured me she was fine not eating for that long. When I got her home, the first thing I did was give her a bottle. She was starving. I did try every suggestion, nipple shields, lactation consultations and it all failed. I pumped for 3 1/2 months and bottle fed her and supplemented with formula then finally switched to formula. This website is correct, fed is best. Period.
This is awful. I am a 40-year-old relatively late in life mom with a 5 year old, a 3 year old, and an 18-month old. All were breastfed, the first two much longer than the last. My first, who has a diagnosis of autism, was born at 37 weeks gestation. He could not latch at all at first, and the LCs at the hospital kept grabbing his poor little face and pushing it against my breast, as if that would “help” him. It did not. Finally I was given a shield, with the comment “it may decrease your supply, but try this.” Of course being a first time mom, this made me extremely paranoid. He was jaundiced and under the bili lights, and on oxygen because he was struggling to keep his oxygen sats up after a rough entry into the world. His glucose was closely monitored, and he never got dehydrated thanks to being on a glucose drip while I struggled to nurse. A week later, he was given a clean bill of health and we were discharged home. I was still using the shield (which I eventually ditched at 9 weeks), and was a wreck, checking his weight practically every week for the first month. He topped his birth weight at around 8 or 9 days of life and continued to gain slowly but steadily after that, but I always wondered at the time if he was truly getting enough to eat thanks to the LC’s comment. He was always happy, alert and vigorous, had good outputs, and no health professional commented negatively on his size. Doctors thought he looked fine. After some more hiccups including mastitis and plugged ducts, things got easy at 5 months, and he nursed for a year. I’m not sure why he is autistic, but looking back I don’t believe it was because of a lack of sufficient intake. I’ve also heard of complications following the Hepatitis B vaccine (vaccines have in some cases caused encephalopathy as well), but we did not consent to that and delayed vaccines overall, so it wasn’t that either. I’m not suggesting that this can’t happen…I’m sure they do, but I’m proof that sometimes a child ends up with developmental delays for reasons that are not clear-cut. My son may have been deprived of oxygen on his way out given that he had to have oxygen for awhile, and I’m sure the prophylactic antibiotics he got postpartum to treat a presumed pneumothorax messed with his gut flora, but other than that I can’t say what caused his issues. And he’s made strides in his overall functioning: Went from nonverbal and screaming at 2 to being potty trained at 3, learning to communicate better and coping well with different stimuli, and is going to a regular public school with a little support and doing relatively well, learning to read and write along with the other neurotypical kids.
Second baby, no issues. Started gaining right away and nursed for a year. It was actually a joy nursing him.
Third baby, latch was extremely painful. However, she climbed quickly towards her birth weight and was half a pound over it by her second week, so I assumed all was well. Then I got mastitis. I struggled to feed her and pump to empty myself (and getting practically nothing out) and in the meantime, she seemed more irritable. Then she got lethargic, which I took to mean at the time in my sleep deprived haze that she was content. I was dealing with two other kids, trying to pump around the clock with hardly any output and in pain (feeding was still painful) and was feeding her when she seemed hungry. One morning I woke up with a start after 9 hours without pumping or nursing to a baby furiously sucking her fists. She was not crying, just sucking away at her hands. I had been so exhausted. I realized with a start that I was no longer engorged. I tried to nurse her, she tried frantically to get something out, then eventually gave up and just laid there and cried in my arms, and I fixed a bottle. I phoned an LC and had her weighed. She was 5 weeks old and weighed 2 oz more than she had at two weeks. I was crushed, but I supplemented her. Two weeks later she was on a bottle full time. She had started refusing the breast and I could not cope with the triple feeds with two other kids and little support. I pumped and she received mostly breast milk for 6.5 months, but she went on 100% formula from then on. I had nothing to prove and knew she’d be fine. I had so wanted to nurse her and this experience broke my heart because I wanted that unique bond, but she is a healthy, bright, beautiful little girl today who loves to cuddle with her mommy.
If I had another child, I would definitely have a backup plan and monitor weight gain and output closely. These stories have served as a cautionary tale for me, and I am sick of the hype surrounding how we feed our babies and the outright hubris of some people who have not had these experiences. I’d like to return to an era where people just FED their babies and weren’t pressured into doing anything but doing just that. So, I fully agree with Fed is Best. Babies’ brains are very vulnerable and an agenda is not more important than making sure they are protected.
My condolences for your loss.
I am sorry as well .but if the baby was not peeing and pooping then the medical folks should have known something was not right
Thank you so much for sharing. My heart breaks for you. I will share your story with other new moms. I know the external and internal pressure to do the best for your child is so intense and this could have happened to any loving mom! Landon did not pass in vain. I believe your story and braveness in sharing it will help to save many!
My heart is with you. You DID do your best and clearly had his best intention in your heart. You did nothing wrong. You loved your child and followed the advice you were given. I will hold you in my heart and send love your way. He was lucky to have such a caring, loving, dedicated mother.
My heart goes out to you. I have a little boy who was born healthy but also kept crying all day and night after discharge from the hospital. Upon leaving the hospital I was severely dehydrated due to diarrhea and I was probably not making any milk, but I just didn’t know it… I was also brainwashed and insisted on breastfeeding him, even though my sister and husband wanted me to give him a bottle during the first night at home after discharge. I refused, and he finally fell asleep crying in my arms. We saw the doctor the next morning and the first thing she did after I unsuccessfully tried to breastfeed him, was to give him formula. He ate the formula like he had been starving for days… And he probably was, poor thing… We all laughed and joked that he must have been hungry, not knowing that we had just dodged a bullet… We could have been in the same situation. And I would have had no idea. I feel blessed that he is fine now and I pray for you and your little boy in heaven, I am so sorry you had to go through this and that he was taken away from you. It makes me angry, how we rely on people who should know these things because this is their job, and they let us down. Be strong. Thank you for sharing so other moms don’t have to go through this.
Jillian I am so very sorry for the unnecessary loss of your beautiful boy. As an RN who spent time working in OB, and as a mother of 3, I am outraged at the way exclusive breastfeeding is pushed upon moms. “Baby Friendly” is in fact not baby or mom friendly at all! While working in post partum at a large hospital, there was constant pressure to push breastfeeding on moms. There were posters and pamphlets galore on our unit outlining how babies should only receive colostrum in the first days of life and how formula impaired the digestive tract. We were taught to educate moms that constant nursing was “normal and healthy” and stimulated milk production. If a mom asked for formula or even a pacifier, we had to document that we informed the mom that an artificial nipple could cause nipple confusion and impair nursing, of course making them feel incredibly guilty. Babies were to remain with mom at all times so they could nurse on demand causing the mothers to be unbelievably exhausted. Many hours were spent battling hypoglycemia and supplementing was still strongly discouraged. There were no lactation consultants staffed on night shift, and sadly, as the nurse, oftentimes I was not able to spend nearly enough time helping moms breastfeed as I would’ve liked to due to the many other tasks the nurse is responsible for. As long as a baby had 10% or less weight loss and had a couple of wet and dirty diapers, they were discharged, often not instructed to follow up with the pediatrician for a couple of days, long enough for a baby to easily become severely dehydrated with low blood sugar without the parents necessarily recognizing what was happening. I am absolutely a supporter of breastfeeding, however, it is not the ONLY healthy way to feed a baby and I think it’s an absolute shame that this is the impression our society is giving mothers!! Why do we feel the need to put moms on such a guilt trip for “failing” when it comes to breastfeeding? Society and the “baby friendly” initiative is who is really failing these families!
I am so sorry for your loss.
We experienced a similar situation but were able to save our son’s life at the last minute. It was about day 10 of life that I, as the father, took him to the doctor and said “something isn’t working.” The nurses at the hospital zealously forced my wife to breast feed exclusively despite my son’s intense jaundice and my wife’s visible frailty in the days after giving birth. Even when the ob/gyn finally diagnosed my wife with toxemia no one suggested that it was possible for her not to produce enough for our son’s nutritional needs. We were told over and over to avoid nipple confusion and to keep trying. We went and got the pump the week after he was born. As the father, I thought it best to leave my wife to breast feed in peace and I know she tried so very hard. But my son would cry and cry each time. Her milk was toxic and he wouldn’t take it. We were fortunate that our pediatrician recognized severe dehydration when I took him in and we were rushed to Brenner Children’s Hospital. The staff there were very supportive, although the social services interview was very insulting. We’re college-educated people who loved our son and wanted the best for him. No one, especially the nurses and staff at the rural hospital where our son was born, warned us of the amount of milk required each day. If anyone had I would have easily recognized that she wasn’t producing anywhere near enough and would have firmly suggested we switch to formula. When parents experience their first born, there is so much going on in terms of emotional and physical health, not to mention fatigue, and when the nurses stand over your wife forcing the child’s face into her breast you just assume nature will take it’s course. No family, and no mother, should have to go through this in the 21st century. I remember feeling so ignorant at the pediatric ICU when I calculated the amount of liquid he was supposed to be getting. Luckily Dr. Jewett told me not to take it so hard and to do my bet moving forward. Our son’s almost 12 now and may have some small developmental challenges but is a healthy and loving son. I can’t imagine life if we had lost him. Everyone should take the time to understand the complexities of infant nutrition and take advantage of whichever method ensures the child and the mother are healthy.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss and admire your courage and strength to share your story. As many others have shared, my experience was also very similar- low milk supply, told it’s okay if she loses weight, she doesn’t need much etc. My daughter ended up having jaundice which required a hospital stay for several days. She became more lethargic which alarmed the doctors and the whole experience was extremely frightening. In hindsight the jaundice may have been just the warning sign we needed. I’m in my early 30s when so many friends are having children. It’s amazing to hear how many people struggle with breastfeeding (for a million different reasons!) and how women are made to feel bad about supplementing. Your mission is extremely admirable and your strength to speak of your experience is truly inspiring.
I just wanted to say Thank you for making people aware that this is a very real problem. Doctors and Nurses working in Maternity at hospitals I believe get to a point that could be considered abusive towards new mothers with their propaganda that breast feeding is the only way.
I was born with a caved in chest causing me to never fully develop and both pregnancies my breast did not grow as they are normally supposed to in preparation for birth.
When I had my first child in 2002, I was forced by the nurses at the hospital to breastfeed. They told me it would be fine despite my small breast size and they refused to give me formula. My baby daughter cried constantly and they said it was because She was just a colicky baby.
When I got home it continued and after 24 hours I couldn’t handle it, and I decided to go against what they had told me, going with my gut feeling, I gave her a formula bottle and never looked back. When I took her to her first doctor’s appointment, the doctor told me I had saved my baby’s life, that because of the issues with my chest, She was starving and had I gone any longer I would have lost her.
I was horrified when She told me this because of the way I had been treated post birth at the hospital.
When I had my second child 8 years later going into it I knew I would be exclusively formula due to my issues and education with my first.
After She was born I had to literally verbally fight with the nurses and lactation specialist when I told them I would not be breastfeeding and my reasons why. They were nasty in the things they said but the worst being that my little girl was going to be ruined because I was making a horrible decision as a mother and not taking the advice of the experts and doing what they knew was best.
This behavior in hospitals and birthing centers needs to change it isn’t fair to traumatize new parents in the way that has been established as common practice. Every woman and circumstance is different and its time the medical field started acting like it.
Once again thank you for sharing your story and creating awareness and making a case for change!!
Dear Jillian, I am so sorry for your loss. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG!!! The health care providers who failed to recognize that your baby was starving are at fault. The insurance corporations who push hospitals to send people home too soon are at fault. I know it can’t bring back your baby, but I hope you sued.
My son is 20 years-old now. He could have easily been Landon. From the day he was born the Pediatric insisted on breast feeding and we agreed to it. We went home from the hospital the next day he was born and hell broke loose. He could stop crying. My wife would give her breast but it could only make him quiet for at most one hour. He called the pediatrics several time and he said it was normal to keep insisting with the breast. On his eleventh day, in the morning, I was changing this dipper when I looked at him he looked like one of those kids in Africa starving to death as we, unfortunately, see in several pictures. We went to the pediatric at once. He saw he was mistaken and we could see he was very afraid something could happen to our kid. He lost 500g in the period, he was only 2750g when he was born, and he was icteric. We started with a bottle right away and he, fortunately, recovered. But we could see in the pediatric eyes that he was terrified something may happen to my son and destroy his career. We kept the pediatric until he made a second mistake when we went to a friend of mine since infancy that was now a pediatric, a great one.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I understand so much more now than ever, when my midwife (who also happened to be a lactation consultant) immediately recommended that we supplement with formula for both our boys when they began to lose more weight than normal in the first few days of life. Even though we wanted to exclusively breastfeed, we trusted her instincts and judgement (as most new parents naturally do). I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine what you have been through.
Thank you for sharing your precious little boy’s story.
You are so brave and I admire you. After my first 24hrs at home with my new born daughter and exclusively breast milk, the first time the midwife came to my house she said to give her a bottle. There are so many people who comment to me about breast and not bottle. Keep spreading the word. You are doing a good thing! My daughter is now 6.
I am so sorry. That beautiful baby. That could have been my baby. She was born at 36+3 and just slept and slept all the time. She fed for hours and fell asleep at the breast. We couldn’t wake her up to feed her. It was terrifying. I thought she would die in the night. I fed her drop by drop, pumped milk from a syringe, like a baby bird. She lost about 10% body weight and just wouldn’t gain. She slept almost all the time. When she was awake she’d feed for an hour straight. Finally our pediatrician stepped in and probably saved her life. She told me my baby was starving and I needed to give her a bottle. I so badly wanted to nurse her and felt horrible that I’d been inadvertently starving her. I thought if she nursed that long she must be getting enough but she was not. It took over a month to gain back to birth weight. She is currently chubby and happy on pumped milk with added formula, plus formula mixed to a higher calorie concentration. When I think how I could have lost her! Your Landon was so beautiful and I am so sorry. I can’t even imagine but cried when I read this and especially looked at the pictures.